Woman Happy to Have A Tapeworm In Her Brain

Rosemary Alvarez,a 37-year-old Phoenix woman was told by doctors that she had a brain tumor. Alvarez had been experiencing difficulty swallowing , numbness in her left arm and her teeth had turned to rubber.

Neurosurgeon Peter Nakaji operated on her only to find a tapeworm called Taenia solium inside her head.
A problem that doctors are seeing more and more of and likely contracted by eating under cooked pork or food tainted with the feces of a person that had poor hygiene when handling food.

Dr Nakaji did not rule out Global warming as a cause either.

Alvarez is recovering well but is upset that her tapeworm didn't make her thinner instead it made her dumb as a box of frogs. She is back to living a normal life but at times likes to lick windows.

Big Bird Means Bigger Portions

Scientists in Arizona have gene spliced the DNA of an Ostrich with that of a Rooster.

Farmer Rusty Hardwood has been comically nicknamed " The man with the biggest cock in the state."

It is hoped that the Rooster will mate with Ostriches to produce a Chickich off-spring. This could revolutionise poultry farming all over the world.

Robbie Williams Searches For Aliens

British pop singer Robbie Williams has become obsessed with extra terrestrials that he is planning to buy an observatory in Arizona for 2.5million pounds, pretty good considering the pound sterling is worth twice the amount of the US dollar .

The singer who has had hits with the songs Angels, Millennium and many more has been visiting the National Optical Astronomy Observatories in Tucson, Arizona, to peer through the telescopes looking into space.

"Some of Robbie’s acquaintances in LA have been having a chuckle at his expense," The British gutter press Sun news tabloid quoted a source, as saying.

“He is leading a bizarre existence at the moment vanishing into the desert to look at stars in far-flung galaxies. He is dead set on buying himself his own observatory in the desert. He is hooked on all things from outer space and has all the X-Files on DVD,” the source added.

Williams had earlier confessed that he had experienced three dramatic sightings of UFOs in LA and his desire to hang up his mic to study aliens after his ET experiences and his recent musical flops have helped him to decide.

He said: “I’m stopping being a pop star. I’m going to be a ufologist.”

Old Knudsen who has had many unexplained encounters in his time said: " The lad is a young rich star who has probably had enough of c**ts ' having a chuckle at his expense' if more people were curious about things past their own nose the world would be a better place besides the desert is a beautiful place and the best place to see stars without light pollution, lets just hope he doesn't end up in the 4th dimension with Steve Fossett."

Mummy Is In The Bath

Phoenix, Arizona a mummified body was found in a bathtub filled with dirt in an apartment that was stacked to the ceiling with garbage and human waste.

Owners of the small unit thought it had been abandoned in August, when rent stopped being paid. Six months later just to give everything more time to stew the owners leapt into action and paid other tenants in the complex to clean it out.

The cleaners began by removing garbage and boxes and buckets filled with human waste.

When they got to the bathroom , they found the bathtub filled with dirt and covered with plastic, a sheet and plywood. When they started shoveling the dirt out, they found the leg of a body and called police then asked for a pay rise.

The body was part skeleton and partly mummy, and that it had been there at least several years, it is not yet known if it has a curse on it.

"Very unusual, very bizarre," said police Sgt. Joel Tranter . "This guy was literally buried in the bathtub."

Tranter said the body may be that of a man who rented the unit in 1995 and was last seen seven years ago. He said the property owners saw a man they didn't recognize at the unit four years ago and asked him who he was.

The man identified himself as the original renter. The owners didn't push the issue because they were only interested receiving rent checks.

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That man has not been seen since August, and Tranter said police are looking for him.

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Autopsy results have not yet been released but the mummified body had several holes in its flesh and may have been used for sexual gratification. Police are hoping to obtain DNA from the corpse.

Kickboxing Lawyer Causes Scene

An Arizona woman was arrested for causing a scene at a restaurant. 37 year-old Tammy Ray Barnes harassed customers at the restaurant and shouted profanities at the manager and refused to pay her bill.

The manager was insulted by the word 'profanities' as he was of Asian descent so he called the police.

When the police arrived she spat at one of the officers and accused him of wanting to rape her.

Barnes claimed she was a lawyer and kickboxer who had trained under Chuck Norris and could have them all fired after she gives them all "a good ass whupping."

Once inside a patrol car, she began hitting her head against the window and threatening to kill herself.

On the drive to the police station she told one of the officers, "I will come after you with a vengeance. I will come to your station. I will never let you rest. I will hunt your wife. I will hunt your kids."

Barnes, faces possible charges for aggravated assault and threatening and intimidating an officer.

It is also being investigated whether she is responsible for the blog spamming 'Old Knudsen' blogs between May and July 2007 as her threats sound very similar.

Man Mauled By Buffalo

Arizona, USA. A 75-year-old man took a ride on his pet buffalo "Bucky" at his ranch north of Phoenix on New Year's Eve and ended up being bucked off the animal, trampled and gored .

The man who was unidentified (for embarrassment reasons) was flown to a Scottsdale hospital with non-life threatening injuries a chief with the Fire Department said.

"He saddled up, got bucked off and was mauled," said John Kraetz, a district fire chief .

"People do have buffalo on their property but it's pretty darn uncommon, and shows you with age does not necessarily comes wisdom or soberness " he said.

The dangerous animal looked like it wanted to do more carnage and so was shot and roasted at the fire house for a New Years Day feast .