Change Is Nature

Frank Fearless Free has merged with its mother blog Old Bitter balls to not only give you the top news but also top opinion.


OBB News thanks its 3 readers and hope you make the move.

Spot The Dummy

London Mayor Boris Johnson, left, wasn't entirely pleased when he met his wax double at Madame Tussauds. "It's only when you see yourself in 3-D that you realise just how fat and ugly you are," Johnson said. I have to lose some weight" .

OBB News would like to point out that he'll still be ugly and his being stupid was not addressed.

Things Get Ugly In Texas

Texas .......... again, A 7-year-old boy Donald Coffey Jr was shot dead in the head by a couple who thought he and three other people were trespassing on their property

Gayle Muhs who is allegedly a man named Gayle and his sister and wife Sheila Muhs who is also allegedly a man both 45, were charged with second-degree felony counts of aggravated assault in the shootings .

Authorities said the couple fired after they mistakenly thought the group was trespassing on their property.

The area includes a dirt road, trees and overgrown brush and it isn't uncommon for people to go off-roading there.

A sign in front of the suspects' home reads: "Trespassers will be shot. Survivers will be re- shot!! Smile I will." OBB News doubts that either have very good smiles. Another sign said, "Keep incest in the family, smile I will."

Sheila Muhs fired a 12-gauge shotgun once, then handed it to her husband, who also fired once

then Sheila Muhs looked up the number and called 911 and told the dispatcher: "They're out here tearing up the levee, so I shot them but good."

The levee was dry and full of good old boys drinking whiskey and eating rye bread sandwiches from Subway and the area belonged to the subdivision and was not private property.

The unarmed victims did not do anything threatening toward the Muhs.

Donald Coffey Sr. suffered a pellet wound in his right shoulder and his daughter, Destiny, suffered a wound to the elbow. The family friend, 30-year-old Patrick Cammack, was in serious condition Saturday with a head wound.

Lonely In Oregon

Brandon Vongthongthrip, a 20-year-old Oregon man was arrested on charges of repeatedly having sex with his pet pit bull after admitting sexually assaulting the dog more than 400 time sover a period of five years.

He then posted photos of his sexual encounters with the dog online much to the dog's embarrassment.

Vongthongthrip was arrested on 200 counts of aggravated animal abuse and 200 counts of sexual assault on an animal .

“This guy had posted pictures of himself with his dog doing some pretty ugly things I've gone right off peanut butter,” Sgt. Mike LeDuc said.

The dog, an attractive 8-year-old pit bull named Rocky, was taken into protective custody by Multnomah County Animal Control where he was examined and treated for injuries.

Vongthronthrip insists he is being victimized because both he and the dog are a same sex couple. He was booked into the Multnomah County Detention Center in lieu of a $1.5 million dollar bail.

Irony Is

Bradley M. Gellert, a 32-year-old from Florida of course tried to strangle his wife during a heated argument. She broke free and went to the Sheriff's Office. Nice t-shirt.

Way Too Old For This S**t

Mel Gibson, 53, appeared at a film premiere in Los Angeles, with his 39-year-old Russian, piano playing girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.

The singer is signed to Mel's recording label Icon and previously dated another old man former James Bond star Timothy Dalton. The couple split up two years ago, they have a 12-year-old son, Thomas.

Robyn Gibson, 52, who must of put up with a lot during their 28 year marriage could be staking a claim to up to half her husband's £640million fortune for her and her seven children and could be the the most expensive divorce in history.

Former madam Heidi Fleiss and crazy octuplet mom Nadya Suleman deny being part of a DNA cloning experiment with miss Grigorieva.

Mr Gibson was too intoxicated to comment.

Not A Waste

Kelly McGillis, who became an 80's pin-up playing Tom Cruise's love interest Charlie in Top Gun in 1986 has come out as a lesbian on the website Shewired.com.

She has claimed to have battled with her sexuality for more than 40 years and that for long periods of her life she was convinced she was being ' punished by God' for being gay.

The actress has been married twice and has two daughters Kelsey, 19, and Sonora, 16 and now is currently single.

The Guinness book of world records is now looking into Top Gun as a possible contender for the most gay film ever they just need Tom to officially come out.

Why Do Germans Like To March So Much?

Switzerland, Europe. Voters in the heart of the Swiss Alps passed legislation banning naked hiking after dozens of mostly German nudists started rambling through their picturesque region.

By a show of hands citizens of the tiny state of Appenzell voted overwhelmingly at their traditional open-air annual assembly to impose a 200 Swiss franc ($176) fine on violators.

Only a scattering of people on Sunday opposed the ban on the back-to-nature activity that took off last autumn when naked hikers primarily Germans started showing up in eastern Switzerland.

Citizens objected to encountering walkers wearing nothing but hiking boots and socks and swinging freely in the breeze.

German Web sites promoting the activity describe it as "a special experience of nature, free and healthy" and said nude walking in the Alps has roots in antiquity as does sheisser videos and world domination .

Feet Of Fury

Washington State, North America . Ted Mazetier an 84-year-old man pulled over to help two men with a disabled car.

One of the men punched him in the face and demanded his car keys.

Mazetier who studied the Old Knudsen art of fighting says he kicked the man in the groin and the other in the belly and was just about to deliver death blows when the two men fled as a passer-by stopped to help.

Police later arrested two suspects for investigation of assault.

Mazetier who suffered a black eye but still had his car said he'll think twice before stopping again to help someone on the street. He'll be 85 in June.

LMAO In The Name Of Allah

A Saudi man has divorced his wife by text message, earlier this month.

The man was in Iraq when he sent the message informing her she was no longer his spouse. He followed up with a telephone call to two of his relatives.

The first known divorce in Saudi Arabia by text message using infidel technology . After summoning the two relatives to check they had received word of the husband's intention a court in the Red Sea city of Jeddah finalised the split.

Saudi Arabia practices a strict form of Islamic Sharia law, and clerics preside over Sharia courts as judges so reason and common sense has no place in the court room .

Under the law a man can divorce his wife by saying "I divorce you" three times or using the letters I divo U in text language . Much like the summoning of Beetlejuice and Candyman.

The Saudi man was in Iraq to participate in "what he described as 'jihad," Many Saudis have gone to fight with al Qaeda militants against the Iraqi government and U.S. forces. It is claimed that his wife wouldn't let him go and fight and he had to run away before he bravely divorced her by text.

Indian Men Do Not Measure Up

"It's not the size its what you do with it that matters" has been the cry of men with under-developed penis' throughout the ages.

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

More than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.

India has the highest number of HIV infections of any nation and way too many air wasters as it is so condoms of mixed sizes to fit their little todgers will be made more available.

The two-year study was carried out by the Indian Council of Medical Research.

Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, by professional penis evaluators down to the last millimetre.

The conclusion of all this scientific willy watching is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

Doctor Chander Puri, a specialist in reproductive health at the Indian Council of Medical Research, told OBB News there was an obvious need in India for smaller condoms, as most of those currently on sale are too large especially those supplied by British companies.

Indian men need not be concerned about measuring up internationally the Chinese also have small porkers and they breed like flies too.

OBB News wonders if this is why Indian and Chinese women always look so miserable and dissatisfied.

Cars Of The Future

General Motors Corp. and Segway demonstrated a new type of vehicle that according to them could change the way we move around in cities.

Dubbed Project P.U.M.A. (Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility), GM and Segway are developing an electrically powered, two-seat prototype vehicle that has only two wheels.

It could allow people to travel around cities more quickly, safely, quietly and cleanly - and at a lower total cost and look totally ridiculous at the same time .

We can look at this as a last ditch attempt for GMC before they go out of business or we can look at this as a reason to why they are going out of business.



Remember the C5 built in the UK in 1985? Look how well they have taken off. Its one thing to be environmentally friendly but you don't have to look like a twat while doing it.


I wonder what silly option research and design experts with too much time and money will come up with next.

Its the 21st century and we have already been cheated out of the flying cars we were promised. These ideas are an insult as an alternative.

Polar Bears Have More Logic Than Women

Keepers at the Berlin Zoo were praised for their bravery after they dragged a 32-year-old woman out of a moat inside the polar bear enclosure.

It is thought that the bears used their hypnotic power of cute and cuddly on the woman who climbed over a fence, and a line of prickly hedges too get in.

She suffered serious injuries after being bitten on her arms and legs.

"The woman has proved herself to be careless and retarded by jumping into the enclosure," a police spokesman said afterwards. "Logic tells us that polar bears will do this type of thing in this situation."

The famous hand reared polar bear Knut was in the same enclosure. He was not available for comment.

Racist Or JustTtacky?

Walgreens is ordering the removal of the "Chia Obama" from its stores in Tampa and Chicago, saying the ceramic-plant figure of the chief executive is inappropriate for sale.

Spokesman Robert Elfinger said store managers have the ability to market products of their choice.

But the top brass of the Illinois-based drug chain didn't like what was being sold. "We got some complaints from people that they thought it was racist, " Elfinger said in a telephone interview to OBB News.

"The two white people who complained also demanded the discontinue of Pokemon as it encourages animal violence," Elfinger added.

Watermellon seeds are no longer to be sold in the gardening section either just in case.

Mean Dogs Mean Dogs Whatcha Gonna Do?

Boise, Idaho, North America. No one has broken out of the Idaho State Correctional Institution in more than 20 years.

The reason for the success rate of the prison is the crazed perimeter guards who will rip you apart with their teeth and then hump your leg.

The institution is the only state prison in the U.S. to use sentry dogs . The program began in 1986, 24 mean dogs mostly German shepherds, rottweilers and Belgian malinois, with a few boxers , pit bulls and poodles roam the space between the inner and outer chain-link fences 24 hours a day, ferociously defending their territory.

Get too close to the fence and they will bare their teeth, bark and lunge. Set foot in their space and they will attack.

The animals themselves are former death row inmates dogs that were deemed too dangerous to be pets and would have been destroyed at the local pound if they had not been given a reprieve and assigned to prison duty.

"We're basically giving them a second chance at a good, healthy life with the chance of biting scumbags," said Corrections Officer Michael Amos, who heads the sentry dog program. "Those same instincts that make them a bad pet make them good sentries."

The canines save on manpower and are more reliable during power outages than electrical security systems and more effective in the fog and the dark than the humans posted in the lookout towers. They also seem to scare the crap out of the prisoners.

No one has escaped from the 1,500-inmate medium-security prison since the dogs were brought in. No one has even tried to get past the fences since the early 1990s

Even the dog trainers themselves have been mauled by these guard dogs. Veterinarians dart the dogs when they give them medical attention.

It takes a dirty dog to guard a dirty dog. OBB News salutes, Bingo, Fluffy , Wingnut and others for their continued and valuable service.

A Roof With A View

An 18-year-old man had secretly painted a 60ft drawing of a phallus on the roof of his parents' £1million mansion in Berkshire.

It was there for a year before his parents found out. The young penis obsessed man has been ordered to add a foreskin as his parents are anti-circumcision.

Too Young To Die Too Fat To Live

Philip Chawner, 53, and his 57-year-old wife Audrey weigh 24st. Their daughter Emma, 19, weighs 17st, while her older sister Samantha, 21, weighs 18st. The family from Blackburn claim £22,508 a year in government benefits.

The Chawners, haven't worked in 11 years, claim their weight is a hereditary condition and the money they receive is insufficient to live on.

So does that mean the couple are related to each other?

Mr Chawner said: "What we get barely covers the bills and puts food on the table. It's not our fault we can't work. We deserve more."The family claim to spend £50 a week on food and consume 3,000 calories each a day.

The recommended maximum intake is 2,000 for women and 2,500 for men.

"We have cereal for breakfast, bacon butties for lunch and microwave pies with mashed potato or chips for dinner," Mrs Chawner told OBB News. She didn't say in what amounts though.

"All that healthy food, like fruit and veg, is too expensive. We're fat because it's in our genes. Our whole family is overweight, stupidity and good looks are also in our genes," she added.

Each week, Mr and Mrs Chawner, who have been married for 23 years, receive £177 in income support and incapacity benefit. Mrs Chawner is paid an extra £330-a-month disability allowance for epilepsy and asthma, both a result of being overweight.

Mr Chawner gets £71 a month after developing Type 2 diabetes because of his size. He was on a waiting list for a gastric band last year, but a heart condition made the operation unsuitable.

Their daughter Samantha receives £84 in Jobseekers' Allowance each fortnight while Emma, who is training to be a hairdresser, gets £58 every two weeks under a hardship fund for low-income students.

Emma, said: "I'm a student and don't have time to exercise" she said "We all want to lose weight to stop the abuse we get in the street, but we don't know how."

Maybe they shouldn't spend so much time eating. If you really 'wanted' to lose weight you'd do it no ifs or buts.

BB Gun Gangstas

Peter Caley, 79, was shot in the face with a BB gun by a group of young children as he worked on his allotment in Easingwold, North Yorkshire. The pellet narrowly missed his eye.

His wife Diane said: "They were primary school kids between about seven and 11. They could have taken his eye out does no one ever say that to kids anymore?"

North Yorkshire Police said they were treating the incident on Sunday evening very seriously as opposed to other crimes to which they snigger at.

Mrs Caley said: "My husband was down the allotments and he was attacked by about six kids who proceeded to fire these BB guns at him from a range of about 10 yards, hitting him quite violently on the nose within a millimetre of his eye."

She said her husband told her the children had laughed at him after the attack.

"It is just not funny, I mean he's 79 for goodness sake, going about his business in the place he enjoys the most," she said.

Her husband had been unable to give police a description of the culprits as it was dark at the time and he was too busy bleeding.

Local newsagent manager Wendy Moss said she was horrified and had decided to stop selling BB guns , sex swings and bondage equipment .

"We don't want to be associated with anything that is going to be a dangerous product. We're not saying we actually sold the one that caused the injury, but we obviously don't believe this is a good product to sell."

OBB News says: A newsagents that sells BB guns? The only thing you may get hurt on OBB News are your sensibilities. Children think its all fun and games until someone loses an eye .

The CO2 BB guns can penetrate wood and at 10 yards the lesser plinkers guns can do damage to soft skin tissue. OBB News hopes these stupid children are caught and flogged on the town square even though that is too god for them.

In Rod We Rust

Six year-old Mihir Kumar was celebrating the festival of Holi in India, when he slipped off the terrace of his family home and landed on a the five foot-long iron rod that was left standing on a building site.

Mehul was playing with colours on the terrace when he fell on an iron rod left standing on the under-construction terrace.

The rod punched through his ribcage and came out the other side. It was said to have hurt a little bit.

He underwent three-hour surgery at the Rajendra Institute of Medical Sciences to remove the rod.

He is now recovering in hospital and has been revered as a prophet as during Holi he was made holey when he fell from the sky like the prophet Mahatma Coat.

Dr Sandeep Agarwal, one of the three surgeons to operate on the boy, said he had miraculously escaped major internal injuries and commended the boy for his will power.

McNugget Emergency

A Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald’s employees told her they were out of Chicken McNuggets.
27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.

The McNugget Nazi of a cashier refused a refund and said all sales were final and told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate.

Gee I wonder why.

Goodman called 911 and said: “This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one, I need the nuggets man.”

Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge and for being an idiot.

A McDonald’s spokesman says Goodman should have been given a refund, and she’s being sent a gift card for a free meal.

When they say a free meal they don't mean the works, they mean a Big Mac meal or a regular sized McNugget meal. I think for the utter stupidity Goodman should be given several meals all served by a clown other than the cashier because even in this recession McDonald's for some reason is still making a profit.

OBB News wishes to thank the people of Florida and Texas for without them these idiot stories wouldn't exist.