Thursday, April 30, 2009

Feet Of Fury

Washington State, North America . Ted Mazetier an 84-year-old man pulled over to help two men with a disabled car.

One of the men punched him in the face and demanded his car keys.

Mazetier who studied the Old Knudsen art of fighting says he kicked the man in the groin and the other in the belly and was just about to deliver death blows when the two men fled as a passer-by stopped to help.

Police later arrested two suspects for investigation of assault.

Mazetier who suffered a black eye but still had his car said he'll think twice before stopping again to help someone on the street. He'll be 85 in June.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

LMAO In The Name Of Allah

A Saudi man has divorced his wife by text message, earlier this month.

The man was in Iraq when he sent the message informing her she was no longer his spouse. He followed up with a telephone call to two of his relatives.

The first known divorce in Saudi Arabia by text message using infidel technology . After summoning the two relatives to check they had received word of the husband's intention a court in the Red Sea city of Jeddah finalised the split.

Saudi Arabia practices a strict form of Islamic Sharia law, and clerics preside over Sharia courts as judges so reason and common sense has no place in the court room .

Under the law a man can divorce his wife by saying "I divorce you" three times or using the letters I divo U in text language . Much like the summoning of Beetlejuice and Candyman.

The Saudi man was in Iraq to participate in "what he described as 'jihad," Many Saudis have gone to fight with al Qaeda militants against the Iraqi government and U.S. forces. It is claimed that his wife wouldn't let him go and fight and he had to run away before he bravely divorced her by text.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Indian Men Do Not Measure Up

Condom factory

"It's not the size its what you do with it that matters" has been the cry of men with under-developed penis' throughout the ages.

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

More than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.

India has the highest number of HIV infections of any nation and way too many air wasters as it is so condoms of mixed sizes to fit their little todgers will be made more available.

The two-year study was carried out by the Indian Council of Medical Research.

Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, by professional penis evaluators down to the last millimetre.

The conclusion of all this scientific willy watching is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

Doctor Chander Puri, a specialist in reproductive health at the Indian Council of Medical Research, told OBB News there was an obvious need in India for smaller condoms, as most of those currently on sale are too large especially those supplied by British companies.

Indian men need not be concerned about measuring up internationally the Chinese also have small porkers and they breed like flies too.

OBB News wonders if this is why Indian and Chinese women always look so miserable and dissatisfied.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Cars Of The Future

General Motors Corp. and Segway demonstrated a new type of vehicle that according to them could change the way we move around in cities.

Dubbed Project P.U.M.A. (Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility), GM and Segway are developing an electrically powered, two-seat prototype vehicle that has only two wheels.

It could allow people to travel around cities more quickly, safely, quietly and cleanly - and at a lower total cost and look totally ridiculous at the same time .

We can look at this as a last ditch attempt for GMC before they go out of business or we can look at this as a reason to why they are going out of business.

Remember the C5 built in the UK in 1985? Look how well they have taken off. Its one thing to be environmentally friendly but you don't have to look like a twat while doing it.

I wonder what silly option research and design experts with too much time and money will come up with next.

Its the 21st century and we have already been cheated out of the flying cars we were promised. These ideas are an insult as an alternative.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Polar Bears Have More Logic Than Women

Keepers at the Berlin Zoo were praised for their bravery after they dragged a 32-year-old woman out of a moat inside the polar bear enclosure.

It is thought that the bears used their hypnotic power of cute and cuddly on the woman who climbed over a fence, and a line of prickly hedges too get in.

She suffered serious injuries after being bitten on her arms and legs.

"The woman has proved herself to be careless and retarded by jumping into the enclosure," a police spokesman said afterwards. "Logic tells us that polar bears will do this type of thing in this situation."

The famous hand reared polar bear Knut was in the same enclosure. He was not available for comment.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Racist Or JustTtacky?

Walgreens is ordering the removal of the "Chia Obama" from its stores in Tampa and Chicago, saying the ceramic-plant figure of the chief executive is inappropriate for sale.

Spokesman Robert Elfinger said store managers have the ability to market products of their choice.

But the top brass of the Illinois-based drug chain didn't like what was being sold. "We got some complaints from people that they thought it was racist, " Elfinger said in a telephone interview to OBB News.

"The two white people who complained also demanded the discontinue of Pokemon as it encourages animal violence," Elfinger added.

Watermellon seeds are no longer to be sold in the gardening section either just in case.