Monday, June 30, 2008

LOL Grandma

A 60-year-old Grandma from Fayetteville, North Carolina, America, obliviously drove to and from her teaching job with license plates that said WTF issued to her by the DMV.

Last July, she figured it out thanks to some help from her teenage grandchildren.

The kids informed her of the true implications of the letters on her license plate, the woman then complained to DMV officials.

The woman's plates were replaced free of charge with MILF-69, and the North Carolina DMV has offered to exchange any WTF plates .

It only took the North Carolina DMV a year to notice it.

Will The Atom Smasher Win The Lottery?

In Switzerland the most powerful atom-smasher ever built is due to be switched on in August.

The Large Hadron Collider could make discoveries such as invisible matter or extra dimensions in space or the wormhole that contains all the socks that go missing in the wash.
Some critics fear it could exceed physicists' wildest wet dreams and will it create a black hole that could swallow Earth or spit out particles that could turn the planet into a hot dead clump.

It has taken a generation to build the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) particle collider, called the largest science experiment in history.

It consists of a ring of super cooled magnets 17 miles in circumference, buried 330 feet below the French-Swiss border and has cost $5.8 billion so far .

Scientists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research, known by its French initials CERN say the fears are 'ridiculous'.
"Obviously, the world will not end when the LHC switches on but everyone outside of our safe 330 foot deep bunker may be turned inside out," said project leader Lyn Evans.

David Francis, a physicist on the collider's huge ATLAS particle detector, smiled when asked whether he worried about black holes and hypothetical killer particles known as strangelets.

"If I thought that this was going to happen, I would be well away from here," he said as he took a swig from his hip flask.

The machine, which has been called the largest scientific experiment in history, isn't expected to begin test runs until August, and ramping up to full power could take months.


But once it is working, it is expected to produce some startling findings.

Scientists plan to hunt for signs of the invisible "dark matter" and "dark energy" that make up more than 96 percent of the universe, and hope to glimpse the elusive Higgs boson, a so-far undiscovered particle thought to give matter its mass, and other really interesting and fascinating stuff.

The collider could find evidence of extra dimensions, a boon for superstring theory, which holds that quarks, the particles that make up atoms, are infinitesimal vibrating strings.


The theory could resolve many of physics' unanswered questions like the buttered cat paradox.

If bread always lands on the buttered side and cats always land on their feet what would a buttered cat do?


Physicist Martin Rees has estimated the chance of an accelerator producing a global catastrophe at one in 50 million about the same as winning some lotteries.

That's long odds or is it ? considering someone always wins the lottery, either a pedophile or some old geezer in God's waiting room.


A CERN team this month issued a report concluding that there is "no conceivable danger" of a cataclysmic event.

Walter L. Wagner, a physicist, lawyer, reality TV star and critic of the LHC filed a lawsuit in March seeking to block its startup, alleging that there was "a significant risk that operation of the Collider may have unintended consequences which could ultimately result in the destruction of our planet," and the CERN report "has several major flaws."
CERN scientists say the LHC may produce micro black holes, subatomic versions of cosmic black holes , collapsed stars whose gravity fields are so powerful that they can suck in planets and other stars. But they would likely be traveling so fast they would pass harmlessly through the earth and may only just destroy a few 3rd world countries, nothing serious like the end of the world.

Well this reporter will sleep soundly knowing that according to scientists the world will be safe, I suppose playing with magnets looking for dark matter or unicorns or whatever beats getting a real job.


Friday, June 27, 2008

Soldiers Film UFOs

A soldier has reported seeing 13 unidentified flying objects in the sky while out on night patrol.
Corporal Mark Proctor 38, of the 1st Battalion of the Irish Regiment was one of three soldiers who saw 13 unidentified flying objects in the sky while out on night patrol.
He filmed the sighting, at Tern Hill barracks near Market Drayton, Shropshire, on his mobile phone and reported the sighting to Army officials.
He described the 'craft' as "rotating cubes" in the sky, just after 11pm on Saturday, June 7.
"I was on duty in the guard room drinking Guinness and eating cabbage and corned beef when the other boys outside began shouting.
I went out to see what the commotion thinking they had caught a leprechaun and his pot 'o' gold was all ours but instead I could see thirteen craft in the skies to be sure," he said.
"They were zig-zagging, but I filmed two before they disappeared. They were like rotating cubes with multiple colours.
"I made a full report to my commanding officers and gave them my footage. The other lads were as amazed by it as I was."
A 19-year-old private on patrol also saw the "fleet".
"There were about 30 lights passing over for a few minutes, very high but not at a great speed.
They were bright red. Another soldier saw them too," he said.
The Ministry of Defence experts are studying Cpl Proctors mobile phone footage and have told the soldiers not to speak about the incident.
You may have read about this in The Sun newspaper in the UK or just here on my blog, so much for orders.
MOD spokesperson said: “The MoD examines reports solely to establish whether UK airspace may have been compromised by hostile or unauthorised military activity.
Unless there is evidence of a potential threat, there is no attempt to identify the nature of each sighting reported.”
The sighting above the military barracks came two hours before helicopter police officers reported an encounter with a huge craft 80 miles away near Cardiff.

The Man Who Sold The World .... A PC

A high powered job opening at Microsoft has come up, minimum experience required. Bill Gates is leaving Microsoft after more than 30 years since he formed it as a small partnership with his friend Paul Allen.

Gates is becoming more involved with the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, where he will focus most of his attention on the global philanthropic enterprises such as sending vast amounts of cash into the money pit known as Africa.

Looking back to a 2003 e-mail written by Gates shows that he himself with 90% of the computer market share sometimes wishes he bought a Mac.

"I am quite disappointed at how Windows Usability has been going backwards and the program management groups don't drive usability issues.

Let me give you my experience from yesterday.

I decided to download (Moviemaker) and buy the Digital Plus pack ... so I went to They have a download place so I went there.

The first 5 times I used the site it timed out while trying to bring up the download page. Then after an 8 second delay I got it to come up."

A slice of life of one of the richest men in the world who in 2003 had nothing better to do than try to download up Moviemaker only to be faced with the problems of mere mortals who even today have the excellent Vista program forced onto them.

Please no more so-called improvements or upgrades we just want a system that doesn't sell our details, track our movements or drive us to drink with error messages.

The e-mail ended with this.

"So after more than an hour of craziness and making my programs list garbage and being scared and seeing that is a terrible website I haven't run Moviemaker and I haven't got the plus package and ended up back to surfing porn."

I suppose if everyone made reliable, long lasting, quality products less items would be sold. We here at OBB News wish Mr Gates well in his endeavours and if he wants to waste his hard earned billions this reporter can meet him at the race track.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Wish I Didn't Know

Former Wish You Were Here presenter Judith Chalmers shocked viewers on live TV by revealing she never wore knickers when she hosted the travel show.

The 72-year-old admitted that she always went commando during her 30-year reign presenting the British travel show because she didn't want a visible panty line.

Ms Chalmers had to give up the job when her giblets started to hang down beyond her skirt, even with a giblet tuck her job went to a younger woman.

I'm sure that anyone watching the show only watched it for the travel advice and scenery and not Ms Chalmers wide expanse, ploughed fields and undulating valleys.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Seven Words You Can Not Say On A News Blog

George Carlin the famous comedian died on the 22nd June of heart failure at a Santa Monica hospital. Well known for his sketch 'Seven words you can never say on television' we hope that someone will honour him by saying them at a memorial to him. These words include, s**t, p**s, f**k, c**t, c*******r, m***********r and t**s .

To quote Mr Carlin on the subject of religion , " If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter."

Flush With Success

A monument to the enema, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk. The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three anal angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa.

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko told OBB News. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

In the town of Zwellenski 12 miles away they have a statue of a popular brand of stool softener.

The Caucasus Mountains region is known for dozens of spas where enemas with water from mineral springs are routinely administered to treat digestive and other complaints.

Kharchenko, 50, said the monument cost $42,000 and was installed in a square in front of his spa on Wednesday with

a banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas".

They give the finger to all the other methods to relieve constipation.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Whats Happening In Wales?

The thriller by director M Night Shyamalan 'The Happening' has been banned from the Odeon cinema in Bridgend, south Wales.

The film depicts a spate of unexplained suicides and Wales has been recently plagued by a series of tragic suicides, 22 since January last year.
Carwyn Jones, 28, from Bettws, near Bridgend, was found hanged on Monday.

A spokesman for the Odeon cinema group said: "Odeon took the decision in May not to screen The Happening at Odeon Bridgend due to sensitivities around the content of the film in this particular region."

The Odeon in South Wales also refused to show 'The night of the sheep shagger' staring Daniel Day Lewis due to the constant violation of the local sheep and The 40 year old virgin was also banned but the manager didn't give a reason.
After showing the movie 'Spiceworld' there were 24 suicides across the UK.

Suicide is one of the most selfish ways to end a life, not only does it pain those left behind but it also hurts cinema goers.
I hope those 22 people who killed themselves can live with what they have done, now people either have to go to another town or wait for the DVD to come out.

Another M Night Shyamalan movie was banned in the small Scottish town in killamory.
In 2002 the film about alien invasion 'Signs' was banned due to a spate of alien abduction and anal fisting.
The film was a box office hit even though it had very obvious plot faults and goes to show you there is no such thing as bad press.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Millionaire's Row Locks Up It's Daughters

In Michigan a registered sex offender Fred Topous Jr, 45,who was released in 2006 won the $57 million Mega Millions jackpot from the June Friday 13th drawing.

The ex-con's rap sheet includes assault with intent to commit sexual penetration with a 13-year-old girl, and two counts of breaking and entering.

He will take a $34 million payout.

Topous said he planned to buy a house, send his children to college and have some fun with his winnings.

He said he and his wife work multiple jobs to make ends meet and thought they'd have to work till they died.

"I want to enjoy a little bit of life," Topous told state lottery officials. "We're plain folks. We've struggled all our lives."

Mr Topous also wants to start a school for girls like Oprah did and wants everyone to know that he is in an open marriage, Mrs Topous was not available for comment.

"He's had some tough breaks," friend and co-worker Jan Westcott told OBB News. "I know some of his secrets, and he knows some of mine. I'm not going any further until someone makes me an offer."

Pastor Bobby Marshall of the Leap of faith church in Michigan said: " God loves a repentant sinner, it could have been easy to direct the money to good people but this example of God's love goes towards telling us all that thieving pedophiles deserve God's love too, join with me in praising the Lord's wisdom, amen."


Quadriplegic Sailor Steps Up To Meet The Challenge

Hilary Lister, 36 from Kent, England , was the first quadriplegic to sail solo across the English Channel in 2005 (in 6 hours and 13 minutes). She then became the first female quadriplegic to sail solo around the Isle of Wight in 2007 (in 11 hours 4 minutes) Now she wants to sail solo around the British Isles.

Lister who was able bodied until the age of 15 suffers from the progressive condition reflex sympathetic dystrophy can only move her head she controls her ship by sucking and blowing tubes for steering and sails.

Each leg of her journey will last for 18 hours and then she will come ashore for the night to be changed and have baby powder put onto any diaper rashes.

She won't be so armless out there in the ocean as a team on land will provide support and protection against sharks and pirates..

The journey is expected to take about 3 months to complete and you just know the pressure is on to finish up fast as there are probably hundreds more insane quadriplegics who will try to do it faster.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Ginger Dog Gets Sucked Off On New York Streets

New York, America, Robert Machin, 57, a retired public transport worker had just finished walking his two Boston terriers and was about to put them in his car when a road sweeping truck appeared and his dog Ginger was swallowed by the sweeper's round bristles.

“The animal was like a family member in my house,” said Mr Machin.
Many of Mr Machin's family lounge around licking their parts and use the back yard as a toilet.

Witnesses say the vehicle was moving at about 30 or 40 mph, much faster than the 10 mph it’s supposed to go, and that the driver was listening to headphones.

“He came so close to the car that he sucked the dog off the leash,” said Isamar Maldonado, who saw the incident.

The Department of Sanitation issued a statement regarding the incident and said it will not charge Mr Machin for any damage done to it's equipment nor for the cleaning of his dog.

UFO Flotilla Over California

A Southern Californian man stepped out of his house around 8.15 am on Wednesday morning and saw what looked like a group of unidentified flying objects in the sky and so raced back into his house and grabbed his camera .

The man who wants only to be known as Ed said: " I stood out in my yard with my teenage daughter and stared at these things. They seemed to be slow moving spheres and moved with the wind I was sore afraid that it was an invasion fleet from Mars. I've had a nasty experience with aliens in the past that I do not want to repeat."

The man is on record with the government as having been reported as an alien abductee in 1976 and had 12 hours of missing time in which he was subject to painful and frightening experiments that included anal fisting.

He was sent to a psychiatric facility where he was subject to painful and frightening experiments and anal fisting in the name of medicine .

A spokesman for a nearby air force base denied having any military activity in the area and that they were probably balloons.

Ed reacted to this by saying: " Of course that's what they'll say and they also whitewashed it from the news but I saw and if my corn-hole could speak it would tell you the truth about what happened."

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Judge Almost Kills Her Own Grandchild

In South Carolina a 4-year-old girl accidentally shot herself with her grandmother's handgun in a Sam's Club store .

The child was riding in a shopping cart and playing with a cell phone having a great time dialing 911 then laughing and hanging up grabbed a handgun from her grandmother's purse and shot herself in the chest.

The child's condition improved to stable condition following surgery , hours after she was hospitalized in critical condition.

The grandmother, 47-year-old Donna Hutto Williamson a South Carolina magistrate, has a permit to carry a concealed weapon.

The Sam's Club store does not have a sign prohibiting guns inside or a sign prohibiting the accidental shooting of pre-schoolers so it has not been decided yet whether criminal charges will be filed against her.

Chief Magistrate Rodger Emerson Edmonds said it's common for magistrates to carry guns for protection.

"Sometimes some of the judges have to make deposits at the banks," he said. "The other reason is for self preservation to protect yourself because there are some crazies out there."

Maybe there wouldn't be so many crazies out there if the magistrates did their jobs properly.

Lets hope Williamson's judgement is more sound in the courtroom than in Sam's Club. Should a judge who can't even babysit be allowed to hold the fate of thousands in their hands?

The Prince Settles Up

Prince Charles has paid off a family debt from the 17th century. The payment of 453 pounds and 3 shillings ($900) was made during a visit to Worcester by Charles and his lovely wife Camilla.

The debt was incurred in 1651 when King Charles II at the time recognized only as the King of Scotland was preparing for the Battle of Worcester. He asked the Clothiers Company in Worcester to prepare uniforms for his soldiers and pledged to pay afterward but his forces were defeated and Charles fled to mainland Europe. He never got around to paying the bill even after 1660 when he returned as the King of England.

Worcester businessmen have tried to collect the bill for the last 15 years, and Prince Charles decided to pay it as "a gesture of goodwill," even though Charles II was of the Stuart line and not at all related to the German Saxe-Coburg Gotha line of which Charles Windsor the Prince of Wales is from but those Worcester businessmen can get real pushy when it comes to bill collecting and Charles was tired of getting automated phone messages on his recorder from debt collectors.

Prince Charles declined to pay the interest, which after more than 350 years would have exceeded 47,000 pounds ($94,000) by saying "I was not born yesterday".

The Master of the Clothiers Company of Worcester, Andrew Grant, received the money from the prince in a 1650-style gaming purse made by the Royal Shakespeare Company. The Prince had raided his coin jar and it was all in pennys.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Bond Star Leaves Tip

Actor Daniel Craig was rushed to the hospital after slicing off his fingertip on the set of the new James Bond movie, "Quantum of Solace."

The 40-year-old Craig was filming an action sequence at London's famous Pinewood Studios when the accident occurred, marking the second time the actor has been injured while working on the latest installment in the 007 franchise. Last week, he sustained a gash to his face that required eight stitches.

Some people are beginning to believe the film is jinxed a string of unfortunate incidents that have plagued the film's production.

Troubles began when a stuntman skidded off the road and into a lake while driving Bond's signature Aston Martin to the set on wet roads in Italy. A week later, a different stuntman was more seriously injured when he crashed while filming a chase scene and a caterer received a burn on his arm while making chicken pot pies.

A spokesman for "Quantum of Solace" confirmed that Craig had been injured, but said that in true 007 fashion he returned to the set later that day as there was a love scene scheduled.

In the first Bond movie to star Craig, 'Chicken Royale' the character boasted about how he could pleasure a woman with just his little finger, now he can do more as its detachable.

Roger Moore actually died in the 1978 movie Moonraker and made another 3 Bond films before anyone noticed.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

No Sex Please We're Kmart Shoppers

KMart's Piper & Blue, private label brand, is marketing girl's sweatpants with the sexual abstinence catch phrase "True Love Waits" emblazoned on the front and the backs.

A spokeswoman for Sears Holdings Corp, which owns Kmart, Says that the pants have absolutely nothing to do with taking any kind of position, either way, on abstinence. 'It was not associated with any group or any cause,' said Amy Dimond. 'It was just a graphic put on the pants.

Dimond admitted that 'there may be some (customers) who made the (abstinence association), but it was not the intention.'

The organization True Love Waits (TLW), an international Christian group that promotes sexual abstinence outside of marriage for teenagers and college students are quite pleased about the sweat pants as they are better than the ones that had 'Juicy' across the seats .

TLW was created in April, 1993, and is sponsored by LifeWay Christian Resources.

From KMart's website:

Whether she is lounging around the house, going to practice, or doing her chores.

These soft athletic style crop pants will keep her comfy. Perfect for wearing with her favorite sweatshirt or tee.

These athletic pants boldly proclaim just where she stands by pointing out that "True Love Waits" in a large screen print on the front and back of these pants so she will not be bothered by her horny boyfriend.

You can put "Not tonight dear I have a headache" on them and that wouldn't stop this reporter.

Wal-Mart is coming out with their own logos for men's sweatpants, "If you loved me you would" across the fronts, a spokesman for Wal-Mart said: " 'Its just a graphic."

UFOs Hit Fighter Jet

The Romanian Defense Ministry has confirmed that a fighter plane was struck by four unidentified flying objects and released a video of the incident.

The ministry said the MIG 21 Lancer fighter plane was struck by the objects during an Oct. 31, 2007, flight but was able to land safely.

Lt. Col. Nicolae Grigorie said a video recorded by cameras onboard the plane depicts "two solid bodies, which are not translucid."

Grigorie said authorities are working to determine what the objects could have been.

"They couldn't be birds because there are no birds in Europe able to fly so high. And they couldn't be ice bodies because it was a clear sky neither could they be pieces of another plane or meteor , but we have not ruled out hard clouds," he said.

He said the government has ruled out rocket launches and ground artillery fires as causes of the incident because everyone loves Romanians .

Allen Friedman a world famous Ufologist and Urologist said: " Are we expected to believe that Romania has fighter jets? I am more inclined to believe in UFOs than a Romanian flying a fighter jet."

Emperor Zarg of Zanthan 4 said: " Sorry our bad we thought the skies over Romania would have been clear we enjoy going there to anal probe the peasants ."

Lucky Romanians.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

No Rest For A Hero

Lynda Carter the actress who played Wonder Woman in the 1970s TV show found a body floating in the Potomac River in Washington.

She was alone in a boat after a long week of fighting crime when she saw the body . She says she didn't have a cell phone with her as it was in her invisible plane and she couldn't remember where she had parked it , so she yelled to some fishermen and asked them to call police. Carter waited until rescuers arrived and directed them to the body.

District of Columbia police say the body of 47-year-old Helen Johnstone of Washington was found floating on the river . The medical examiner's office has not declared an official cause of death.

Carter says she didn't do anything extraordinary and did what anybody would have done.

Not everyone Ms Carter.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Friends Beg Sienna To Enter Rehab

Actress Sienna Miller says she's addicted to caviar. Sienna gushed about her love of the pricey delicacy admitting her bum now "wobbles" when she walks because of it.

Her comment was made at a fund raiser for the 'Feed Zimbabwe' campaign just before she went to the restrooms to purge.
Skinny rich people making self deprecating comments about being fat is just so priceless.
Caviar addiction has claimed 800 deaths worldwide in the last year.

Peeping Alien

Stan Romanek claims this still image from a three-minute video he shot in 2003 shows an alien looking into his home . In the film, a strange face appears to be popping up and down outside Romanek's window as his wife undresses for bed.

Romanek, has claimed more than 100 encounters with aliens that includes lost time as if he had been drugged and harsh anal probing and thinks that Denver, Colorado should open an "Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission" to deal with alien encounters.

A mental health clinic may be a better idea.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Man Wearing Short Shorts Gets UFO Buzz

Lawrie Fuchs, 70, and his wife Gwen, 69, were returning to their home town of Elliott following a trip to Queensland when a UFO swooped at them as they drove along the Barkly Highway.
Estimated to be about six metres wide, they say the object passed the vehicle with such speed that its slipstream forced their Mazda sedan into the middle of the road.
"It was about 4pm I was driving along having just opened my fourth tinny when suddenly we saw a dark, silvery flash and heard a loud sound as it passed,'' Mr Fuchs said.
"It was travelling at a terrific speed, very bloody fast, and there was no warning at all, UFOs should learn the etiquette of the highway ."
"I'm sure it dive-bombed us but I can't imagine why.''"I do a lot of bush work and over the years I've seen a number of strange, unexplained things like running out of beer when you swear that you hadn't drank that many ,'' he said.
Mrs Fuchs said she saw a little flash just below the sun visor then heard a loud whoosh as it passed over."I actually thought it hit the car, but there were no marks just the skidmarks in my undies,'' she said.
Mr Fuchs, a mechanic who has lived in Elliot for 40 years, says he took the incident in his stride.
"I don't talk about it much because sometimes people don't take you seriously.''

We here at OBB News take everything seriously.
Another man reported seeing a UFO near Tennant Creek. Alan Martin, who is deaf, was obviously shaken by his experience.
The Aboriginal man in his 40s had bought alcohol and headed alone into scrub land to avoid being humbugged which means having money demanded from you with threats or violence.
He described seeing a disc-shaped object at close range. His drawing indicated it had red, green and blue lights.
Maybe he should consider to stop drinking.

Monday, June 2, 2008

What Will The Monkeys Do?

If you are worried about world hunger, the price of food, oil and medicine and spend sleepless nights tossing and turning thinking about Global warming well then this story is just right for you.
Possibly in as soon as five years or maybe as long as 30 there will be no bananas left.

The fruit will be wiped out and longer on the Earth, or at least no longer edible.Panama Disease, is a fungus that's been killing banana trees for about a century now and the disease is getting stronger, with no cure in sight.

Panama Disease is a fungus that was first reported in Australia in 1876 that wilts the leaves and eventually going to the youngest leaves. Eventually, the entire tree has dead or dying leaves.

It destroyed a banana called the Gros Michel, which was very popular for the first five to six decades of the 20th century. Banana packagers loved it.
The Gros Michel had a thick skin so bananas didn't bruise easily, so they were easy to pack in crates, and they didn't need much climate control.

The 1923 musical song, "Yes, We Have No Bananas," was inspired by a shortage of these Gros Michel bananas, also called "Big Mike" bananas, due to the Panama disease.

By 1960, the Gros Michel banana had been replaced by the Vietnamese Cavendish banana, the banana we have today. Still quite delicious, but not as tasty as the ones our grandparents were enjoying and now that is under threat.

Don't worry its not the end of the world, that comes either this July or in 2012 depending on who you believe.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Plastic Surgery Book Aimed At Children

Dr Michael Salzhauer, a plastic surgeon from Miami has written a children's book explaining nose jobs, tummy tucks and breast implants. 'My Beautiful Mommy book', which comes complete with cartoon-style illustrations.

He says it's to help four to seven-year-olds prepare for their parents' plastic surgery so they aren't shocked by the results as Michael Jackson's children are every other week.

But the book, which tells the story of a little girl whose mother gets a tummy tuck, breast implants and nose job, has been criticised in the US, home of plastic ego.

It follows the mother through first consultation until after her surgery as she explains to her children what is going to happen.

At one point she explains to her daughter, "You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore and daddy started to look at other women. Dr. Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better."

The mother also points out that a lot of it is the child's fault because if she hadn't had a child she'd look better so get used to it.

When it comes to her nose job, the mom warns that she will look different after the bandages come off.The girl asks: "Why are you going to look different?" Mom responds: "Not just different, my dear prettier and better than daddy's sectary !"

Dr Salzhauer, a father-of-five, says the book is not meant to be a regular children's bedtime story but plays a specific purpose.

However, it has prompted criticism and debate over whether it will normalise plastic surgery and encourage more people to have it. This reporter is now eager for a scrotal tuck.

His books 'Dad's penile implant' and 'Fat to Phat my gastric bypass' have already been on the best sellers list in Europe.
Dr Salhauer is all ready working on a follow up book entitled 'Why did Mommy have to die?' all about when plastic surgery goes wrong this will prepare the children incase the out come is bad.