Sunday, May 31, 2009

Change Is Nature

Frank Fearless Free has merged with its mother blog Old Bitter balls to not only give you the top news but also top opinion.

OBB News thanks its 3 readers and hope you make the move.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Spot The Dummy

London Mayor Boris Johnson, left, wasn't entirely pleased when he met his wax double at Madame Tussauds. "It's only when you see yourself in 3-D that you realise just how fat and ugly you are," Johnson said. I have to lose some weight" .

OBB News would like to point out that he'll still be ugly and his being stupid was not addressed.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Things Get Ugly In Texas

Texas .......... again, A 7-year-old boy Donald Coffey Jr was shot dead in the head by a couple who thought he and three other people were trespassing on their property

Gayle Muhs who is allegedly a man named Gayle and his sister and wife Sheila Muhs who is also allegedly a man both 45, were charged with second-degree felony counts of aggravated assault in the shootings .

Authorities said the couple fired after they mistakenly thought the group was trespassing on their property.

The area includes a dirt road, trees and overgrown brush and it isn't uncommon for people to go off-roading there.

A sign in front of the suspects' home reads: "Trespassers will be shot. Survivers will be re- shot!! Smile I will." OBB News doubts that either have very good smiles. Another sign said, "Keep incest in the family, smile I will."

Sheila Muhs fired a 12-gauge shotgun once, then handed it to her husband, who also fired once
then Sheila Muhs looked up the number and called 911 and told the dispatcher: "They're out here tearing up the levee, so I shot them but good."

The levee was dry and full of good old boys drinking whiskey and eating rye bread sandwiches from Subway and the area belonged to the subdivision and was not private property.

The unarmed victims did not do anything threatening toward the Muhs.

Donald Coffey Sr. suffered a pellet wound in his right shoulder and his daughter, Destiny, suffered a wound to the elbow. The family friend, 30-year-old Patrick Cammack, was in serious condition Saturday with a head wound.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Lonely In Oregon

Brandon Vongthongthrip, a 20-year-old Oregon man was arrested on charges of repeatedly having sex with his pet pit bull after admitting sexually assaulting the dog more than 400 time sover a period of five years.

He then posted photos of his sexual encounters with the dog online much to the dog's embarrassment.

Vongthongthrip was arrested on 200 counts of aggravated animal abuse and 200 counts of sexual assault on an animal .

“This guy had posted pictures of himself with his dog doing some pretty ugly things I've gone right off peanut butter,” Sgt. Mike LeDuc said.

The dog, an attractive 8-year-old pit bull named Rocky, was taken into protective custody by Multnomah County Animal Control where he was examined and treated for injuries.

Vongthronthrip insists he is being victimized because both he and the dog are a same sex couple. He was booked into the Multnomah County Detention Center in lieu of a $1.5 million dollar bail.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Irony Is

Bradley M. Gellert, a 32-year-old from Florida of course tried to strangle his wife during a heated argument. She broke free and went to the Sheriff's Office. Nice t-shirt.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Way Too Old For This S**t

Mel Gibson, 53, appeared at a film premiere in Los Angeles, with his 39-year-old Russian, piano playing girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.

The singer is signed to Mel's recording label Icon and previously dated another old man former James Bond star Timothy Dalton. The couple split up two years ago, they have a 12-year-old son, Thomas.

Robyn Gibson, 52, who must of put up with a lot during their 28 year marriage could be staking a claim to up to half her husband's £640million fortune for her and her seven children and could be the the most expensive divorce in history.

Former madam Heidi Fleiss and crazy octuplet mom Nadya Suleman deny being part of a DNA cloning experiment with miss Grigorieva.

Mr Gibson was too intoxicated to comment.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Not A Waste

Kelly McGillis, who became an 80's pin-up playing Tom Cruise's love interest Charlie in Top Gun in 1986 has come out as a lesbian on the website

She has claimed to have battled with her sexuality for more than 40 years and that for long periods of her life she was convinced she was being ' punished by God' for being gay.

The actress has been married twice and has two daughters Kelsey, 19, and Sonora, 16 and now is currently single.

The Guinness book of world records is now looking into Top Gun as a possible contender for the most gay film ever they just need Tom to officially come out.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Why Do Germans Like To March So Much?

Switzerland, Europe. Voters in the heart of the Swiss Alps passed legislation banning naked hiking after dozens of mostly German nudists started rambling through their picturesque region.

By a show of hands citizens of the tiny state of Appenzell voted overwhelmingly at their traditional open-air annual assembly to impose a 200 Swiss franc ($176) fine on violators.

Only a scattering of people on Sunday opposed the ban on the back-to-nature activity that took off last autumn when naked hikers primarily Germans started showing up in eastern Switzerland.

Citizens objected to encountering walkers wearing nothing but hiking boots and socks and swinging freely in the breeze.

German Web sites promoting the activity describe it as "a special experience of nature, free and healthy" and said nude walking in the Alps has roots in antiquity as does sheisser videos and world domination .

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Feet Of Fury

Washington State, North America . Ted Mazetier an 84-year-old man pulled over to help two men with a disabled car.

One of the men punched him in the face and demanded his car keys.

Mazetier who studied the Old Knudsen art of fighting says he kicked the man in the groin and the other in the belly and was just about to deliver death blows when the two men fled as a passer-by stopped to help.

Police later arrested two suspects for investigation of assault.

Mazetier who suffered a black eye but still had his car said he'll think twice before stopping again to help someone on the street. He'll be 85 in June.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

LMAO In The Name Of Allah

A Saudi man has divorced his wife by text message, earlier this month.

The man was in Iraq when he sent the message informing her she was no longer his spouse. He followed up with a telephone call to two of his relatives.

The first known divorce in Saudi Arabia by text message using infidel technology . After summoning the two relatives to check they had received word of the husband's intention a court in the Red Sea city of Jeddah finalised the split.

Saudi Arabia practices a strict form of Islamic Sharia law, and clerics preside over Sharia courts as judges so reason and common sense has no place in the court room .

Under the law a man can divorce his wife by saying "I divorce you" three times or using the letters I divo U in text language . Much like the summoning of Beetlejuice and Candyman.

The Saudi man was in Iraq to participate in "what he described as 'jihad," Many Saudis have gone to fight with al Qaeda militants against the Iraqi government and U.S. forces. It is claimed that his wife wouldn't let him go and fight and he had to run away before he bravely divorced her by text.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Indian Men Do Not Measure Up

Condom factory

"It's not the size its what you do with it that matters" has been the cry of men with under-developed penis' throughout the ages.

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

More than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.

India has the highest number of HIV infections of any nation and way too many air wasters as it is so condoms of mixed sizes to fit their little todgers will be made more available.

The two-year study was carried out by the Indian Council of Medical Research.

Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, by professional penis evaluators down to the last millimetre.

The conclusion of all this scientific willy watching is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

Doctor Chander Puri, a specialist in reproductive health at the Indian Council of Medical Research, told OBB News there was an obvious need in India for smaller condoms, as most of those currently on sale are too large especially those supplied by British companies.

Indian men need not be concerned about measuring up internationally the Chinese also have small porkers and they breed like flies too.

OBB News wonders if this is why Indian and Chinese women always look so miserable and dissatisfied.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Cars Of The Future

General Motors Corp. and Segway demonstrated a new type of vehicle that according to them could change the way we move around in cities.

Dubbed Project P.U.M.A. (Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility), GM and Segway are developing an electrically powered, two-seat prototype vehicle that has only two wheels.

It could allow people to travel around cities more quickly, safely, quietly and cleanly - and at a lower total cost and look totally ridiculous at the same time .

We can look at this as a last ditch attempt for GMC before they go out of business or we can look at this as a reason to why they are going out of business.

Remember the C5 built in the UK in 1985? Look how well they have taken off. Its one thing to be environmentally friendly but you don't have to look like a twat while doing it.

I wonder what silly option research and design experts with too much time and money will come up with next.

Its the 21st century and we have already been cheated out of the flying cars we were promised. These ideas are an insult as an alternative.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Polar Bears Have More Logic Than Women

Keepers at the Berlin Zoo were praised for their bravery after they dragged a 32-year-old woman out of a moat inside the polar bear enclosure.

It is thought that the bears used their hypnotic power of cute and cuddly on the woman who climbed over a fence, and a line of prickly hedges too get in.

She suffered serious injuries after being bitten on her arms and legs.

"The woman has proved herself to be careless and retarded by jumping into the enclosure," a police spokesman said afterwards. "Logic tells us that polar bears will do this type of thing in this situation."

The famous hand reared polar bear Knut was in the same enclosure. He was not available for comment.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Racist Or JustTtacky?

Walgreens is ordering the removal of the "Chia Obama" from its stores in Tampa and Chicago, saying the ceramic-plant figure of the chief executive is inappropriate for sale.

Spokesman Robert Elfinger said store managers have the ability to market products of their choice.

But the top brass of the Illinois-based drug chain didn't like what was being sold. "We got some complaints from people that they thought it was racist, " Elfinger said in a telephone interview to OBB News.

"The two white people who complained also demanded the discontinue of Pokemon as it encourages animal violence," Elfinger added.

Watermellon seeds are no longer to be sold in the gardening section either just in case.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Mean Dogs Mean Dogs Whatcha Gonna Do?

Boise, Idaho, North America. No one has broken out of the Idaho State Correctional Institution in more than 20 years.

The reason for the success rate of the prison is the crazed perimeter guards who will rip you apart with their teeth and then hump your leg.

The institution is the only state prison in the U.S. to use sentry dogs . The program began in 1986, 24 mean dogs mostly German shepherds, rottweilers and Belgian malinois, with a few boxers , pit bulls and poodles roam the space between the inner and outer chain-link fences 24 hours a day, ferociously defending their territory.

Get too close to the fence and they will bare their teeth, bark and lunge. Set foot in their space and they will attack.

The animals themselves are former death row inmates dogs that were deemed too dangerous to be pets and would have been destroyed at the local pound if they had not been given a reprieve and assigned to prison duty.

"We're basically giving them a second chance at a good, healthy life with the chance of biting scumbags," said Corrections Officer Michael Amos, who heads the sentry dog program. "Those same instincts that make them a bad pet make them good sentries."

The canines save on manpower and are more reliable during power outages than electrical security systems and more effective in the fog and the dark than the humans posted in the lookout towers. They also seem to scare the crap out of the prisoners.

No one has escaped from the 1,500-inmate medium-security prison since the dogs were brought in. No one has even tried to get past the fences since the early 1990s

Even the dog trainers themselves have been mauled by these guard dogs. Veterinarians dart the dogs when they give them medical attention.

It takes a dirty dog to guard a dirty dog. OBB News salutes, Bingo, Fluffy , Wingnut and others for their continued and valuable service.

Friday, March 27, 2009

A Roof With A View

An 18-year-old man had secretly painted a 60ft drawing of a phallus on the roof of his parents' £1million mansion in Berkshire.

It was there for a year before his parents found out. The young penis obsessed man has been ordered to add a foreskin as his parents are anti-circumcision.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Too Young To Die Too Fat To Live

Philip Chawner, 53, and his 57-year-old wife Audrey weigh 24st. Their daughter Emma, 19, weighs 17st, while her older sister Samantha, 21, weighs 18st. The family from Blackburn claim £22,508 a year in government benefits.

The Chawners, haven't worked in 11 years, claim their weight is a hereditary condition and the money they receive is insufficient to live on.

So does that mean the couple are related to each other?

Mr Chawner said: "What we get barely covers the bills and puts food on the table. It's not our fault we can't work. We deserve more."The family claim to spend £50 a week on food and consume 3,000 calories each a day.

The recommended maximum intake is 2,000 for women and 2,500 for men.

"We have cereal for breakfast, bacon butties for lunch and microwave pies with mashed potato or chips for dinner," Mrs Chawner told OBB News. She didn't say in what amounts though.

"All that healthy food, like fruit and veg, is too expensive. We're fat because it's in our genes. Our whole family is overweight, stupidity and good looks are also in our genes," she added.

Each week, Mr and Mrs Chawner, who have been married for 23 years, receive £177 in income support and incapacity benefit. Mrs Chawner is paid an extra £330-a-month disability allowance for epilepsy and asthma, both a result of being overweight.

Mr Chawner gets £71 a month after developing Type 2 diabetes because of his size. He was on a waiting list for a gastric band last year, but a heart condition made the operation unsuitable.

Their daughter Samantha receives £84 in Jobseekers' Allowance each fortnight while Emma, who is training to be a hairdresser, gets £58 every two weeks under a hardship fund for low-income students.

Emma, said: "I'm a student and don't have time to exercise" she said "We all want to lose weight to stop the abuse we get in the street, but we don't know how."

Maybe they shouldn't spend so much time eating. If you really 'wanted' to lose weight you'd do it no ifs or buts.

Friday, March 20, 2009

BB Gun Gangstas

Peter Caley, 79, was shot in the face with a BB gun by a group of young children as he worked on his allotment in Easingwold, North Yorkshire. The pellet narrowly missed his eye.

His wife Diane said: "They were primary school kids between about seven and 11. They could have taken his eye out does no one ever say that to kids anymore?"

North Yorkshire Police said they were treating the incident on Sunday evening very seriously as opposed to other crimes to which they snigger at.

Mrs Caley said: "My husband was down the allotments and he was attacked by about six kids who proceeded to fire these BB guns at him from a range of about 10 yards, hitting him quite violently on the nose within a millimetre of his eye."

She said her husband told her the children had laughed at him after the attack.

"It is just not funny, I mean he's 79 for goodness sake, going about his business in the place he enjoys the most," she said.

Her husband had been unable to give police a description of the culprits as it was dark at the time and he was too busy bleeding.

Local newsagent manager Wendy Moss said she was horrified and had decided to stop selling BB guns , sex swings and bondage equipment .

"We don't want to be associated with anything that is going to be a dangerous product. We're not saying we actually sold the one that caused the injury, but we obviously don't believe this is a good product to sell."

OBB News says: A newsagents that sells BB guns? The only thing you may get hurt on OBB News are your sensibilities. Children think its all fun and games until someone loses an eye .

The CO2 BB guns can penetrate wood and at 10 yards the lesser plinkers guns can do damage to soft skin tissue. OBB News hopes these stupid children are caught and flogged on the town square even though that is too god for them.

Monday, March 16, 2009

In Rod We Rust

Six year-old Mihir Kumar was celebrating the festival of Holi in India, when he slipped off the terrace of his family home and landed on a the five foot-long iron rod that was left standing on a building site.

Mehul was playing with colours on the terrace when he fell on an iron rod left standing on the under-construction terrace.

The rod punched through his ribcage and came out the other side. It was said to have hurt a little bit.

He underwent three-hour surgery at the Rajendra Institute of Medical Sciences to remove the rod.

He is now recovering in hospital and has been revered as a prophet as during Holi he was made holey when he fell from the sky like the prophet Mahatma Coat.

Dr Sandeep Agarwal, one of the three surgeons to operate on the boy, said he had miraculously escaped major internal injuries and commended the boy for his will power.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

McNugget Emergency

A Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald’s employees told her they were out of Chicken McNuggets.
27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.

The McNugget Nazi of a cashier refused a refund and said all sales were final and told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate.

Gee I wonder why.

Goodman called 911 and said: “This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one, I need the nuggets man.”

Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge and for being an idiot.

A McDonald’s spokesman says Goodman should have been given a refund, and she’s being sent a gift card for a free meal.

When they say a free meal they don't mean the works, they mean a Big Mac meal or a regular sized McNugget meal. I think for the utter stupidity Goodman should be given several meals all served by a clown other than the cashier because even in this recession McDonald's for some reason is still making a profit.

OBB News wishes to thank the people of Florida and Texas for without them these idiot stories wouldn't exist.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Gypsy Tramps Aren't Free

These girls must be on clearance.

Over 2,000 Roma teens and their parents gathered in southern Bulgaria to find a husband willing to pay a hefty price for his new wife.

The open-air bride sale takes place every year on the first Saturday after the start of the orthodox Easter fast as it is in the Bible............. some where at the back.

Girls arrive in their finest clothes and jewelry, their parts washed for once and their faces caked in makeup, eager to show prospective spouses their beauty. Bulgarian beauty seems to differ from actual beauty. Younger brothers and sisters tag along to eat sweets and enjoy the festive atmosphere.

As one mother explained to OBB News, "We take our daughters to this gathering so they could get acquainted with boys, for we do not allow our children to go to discos." Word on the street is that a beautiful young woman can fetch several thousand euros.

OBB News is all for the selling of teenagers and thinks there should be more of it and as for discos, all you have to do is watch Saturday night fever to see how wrong the whole disco thing is.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Who Is Next OJ Simpson?

U.S. Sen. Edward Kennedy has been awarded an honorary knighthood by Great Britain.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown announced the honour during an address to a joint drinking session of Congress in Washington. Kennedy, who is battling brain cancer, used that as an excuse not to attend Brown's speech.

The ailing senator hasn't been seen much since January's presidential inauguration, when he collapsed at a luncheon in a bid to steal the limelight and was briefly hospitalized.

Brown said Kennedy had helped bring peace to Northern Ireland, expand health care for Americans and improve access to education for children around the world. "And for all those things we owe a great debt to the life and courage of Sen. Edward Kennedy" .

OBB News wonders if Mr Brown has the right man.

His involvement in the long process that led to Northern Ireland's 1998 Good Friday peace accord was mostly siding with the Catholic terrorist side until they became unpopular among their own people. Millions of Americans have to live without health care and children around the world are idiots.

The 77-year-old brother of the late President John F. Kennedy has served in the Senate since 1962.

In a statement, Kennedy said he was "deeply grateful to her majesty the queen and to Prime Minister Brown for this extraordinary honor."

Kennedy, whose father, Joseph Kennedy, was U.S. ambassador to Britain between 1938 and 1940, was known as Yellow Joe because he would not live in London during the bombing but let his staff do so and wanted to surrender to Hitler as to not make him angry made lots of money during WWII .

Sen Kennedy also said the knighthood was "a reflection not only of my public life, but of things that profoundly matter to me as an individual. Like celebrating Secretaries day.

Other Americans to receive honorary knighthoods include Microsoft chief Bill Gates, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, Pedophile Michael Jackson and filmmaker Steven Spielberg.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

The Ugly Face Of Parenting

Cerrie Burnell is the 29 year-old host of the UK children's television show CBeebies, she was born missing the lower section of her right arm. Some parents of children who watch the show are disgusted that such an evil grotesque creature is allowed on the screen. The double standard is they have no problem with the pedophile dinosaur Barney.

The BBC has received nine formal complaints and hundreds of nasty messages on its Web site, some of which were so vicious they had to be removed..

"Is it just me, or does anyone else think the new woman presenter on CBeebies may scare the kids because of her disability?" wrote one adult on the CBeebies website. Other adults claimed that their children were asking difficult questions as a result, and you can't have that. "I didn't want to let my children watch the filler bits on The Bedtime Hour last night because I know it would have played on my eldest daughter's mind and possibly caused sleep problems," said one message.

The BBC received nine other complaints by phone. Burnell responded recently, saying that the negative comments "are indicative of a wider problem of disabled representation in the media as a whole, which is why it's so important for there to be more disabled role models in every area of the media."

OBB News agrees with Ms Burnell to a point. People of various disabilities should be shown on children's television as there is no shame in being disabled and children should learn, however like Ms Burnell they show also look attractive.

The expression, "Has a face for radio" was used to describe ugly people who should not be on the television like Mickey Rourke or Sarah Jessica Parker as that really is disturbing.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Bush Too Good For Greeting Job

The former US president George W Bush entered a hardware store called Elliott's outlet with his security detail saying "I'm looking for a job", store manager Andrea Bond said.

The owner of the Texas chain made the offer to employ him as a greeter earlier this month in a letter published in a Dallas newspaper.

Bush showing that he still has an unrealistic view of the world decided upon reflection to turn the job down.

Mr Bush spent an hour with his secret service security detail, chatting to customers and doing a little shopping. He bought a chainsaw and some duct tape.

A part-time job that would have given Mr Bush time to look for something better and still have some rent money coming in

The employment package offered parking for his security detail and an employee discount. Mr Bush thinks he can do better in this economic climate.

Mr Bush and his wife Laura moved into their new home in an expensive area of Dallas on Friday. They have kept their ranch at Crawford, Texas.

OBB News hopes that Laura isn't so picky at the jobs she is offered as millions are laid off every day.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

A Blast From Last Years Idiot Crime Past

Above, Jordan "Tiddy" Tidwell, Franky "The Tank" Koonz, Rhian "Spaz" Jenkins and Melissa Jenkins

Florida of course, this crime from July 25, 2008, just speaks for itself about the sunshine state . Four young people were arrested for illegally climbing the county water tower and spray-painting the nicknames of three of them on the tower.

Deputies commanded all four to come down, which they did.

Jordan Tidwell, 18, had painted the name "Tiddy" on the tower. Franky Koonz, 18, had painted his nickname, "The Tank," on the tower. And Rhian Jenkins, also 18, had painted his nickname of "Spaz" on the tower. Melissa Jenkins, Rhian's sister, who was 21, was the most pathetic of all as she didn't have a nickname.

All four were arrested and charged with Burglary and Criminal Mischief.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Alls Fair In Love And Sport

Last November, 39-year-old Stuart Slann, from South Yorkshire, a loyal Manchester United football (soccer) fan, was vacationing in Cancun when he met two Liverpool supporters.

Being bitter rivals the two men (who are also cage fighters) grew tired of Slann's boasting that Manchester Utd holds the English Premier League and Champions League titles and decided to throw him in the pool like you do .

Scousers from Liverpool have a long memory. Just ask Ringo Starr. His topiary figure constantly gets beheaded because of negative remarks he made about his home town.

Upon returning to Liverpool, the two men decided to set up a fake Facebook profile under the name "Emma" and to lured Slann into a virtual love affair.

Slann drove 500 miles from his home to a remote location in North Scotland, where he thought Emma was eagerly awaiting his arrival.

When he finally reached the address "Emma" had given him, there was nothing but an old, deserted farm.

Soon after arriving, he received a text from "Emma," saying that she was still at work and that he would have to wait a while.
After waiting for three hours in his car, a worried and horny Slann called the number he had been texting and was shocked when a man picked up the phone. "Hello Stuart," the man said, "do you remember us? It's them Scouse lads who threw you in the pool. You've been framed."

Slann, who had been tricked into taking a "rude" photo of himself with his camera phone on the drive north, has since been divorced by his wife.

While he does think the trick was cruel, he said, "I'll hold my hands up and say they really wound me up."

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Kick Them When They Are Down

Microsoft have miscalculated the severance payouts to some of the approximately 1,400 employees that the company recently laid off.

The Microsoft Corp has sent out letters requesting a return of funds from those former employees who received apparent overpayment of severance benefits or they shall release the mosquitoes.

No doubt they were using their own accounting software.

The Microsoft Corporation won't say how much money is involved but are going through a lot of trouble to reclaim their funds. Maybe they wanted to send the extra money over to Africa.

Imagine getting fired and then finding out the company you served loyally says that you owe it money. I'm sure there is a special place in hell for the rich Microsoft CEO's.

In an update Microsoft's senior vice president for human resources announced the reversal of the action as stating: "I decided it didn't quite feel right," you mean the bad press didn't feel right.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Run Forest Run!

A 15 year-old schoolgirl was surprised when she snatched the hand-bag of 72 year-old Mrs Hirst to discover she was a former All England Schools championship sprinter and still had a good bit of speed still in her.

Mrs Hirst gave chase, she soon began to close on the chavette who was forced to throw down the bag in her desperation to escape.

Mrs Hirst said: "Suddenly I felt 18 again. The adrenaline just kicked in and I seemed to turn back the years.

"She had a head start but I covered 70 yards in about 15 seconds and was within two strides of her when she looked over her shoulder and saw me.

"She probably thought I was an easy target but she shouldn't have judged a book by its cover. The look on her face was one of sheer amazement and she just threw my bag aside, I was not as out of breath as I thought I would be at my age."

Mrs Hirst, a widow, from Mansfield, Notts, was able to stop and pick up the bag which she described as containing her "whole life", including her purse, keys and address book.

Mrs Hirst, who has two grown up children, was later rebuked by her daughter who told her the girl could have had a knife or turned aggressive.

She added: "I didn't think of my safety, but I did pay for it a little the next day. I was covered in aches and pains and my daughter turned to me and said it was because I didn't warm up properly."

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Dora Explores Her Sexuality

Mattel, Inc. and Nickelodeon/Viacom Consumer Products , announced today that Dora the Explorer™ is growing up!
The companies have introduced a whole new way to look at Dora for girls and some boys five years and up. It’s innovative, diverse, wholesome, bi-lingual and entertaining.

“For nearly ten years, Dora the Explorer has had such a strong following among preschoolers, catapulting it into the number one preschool show on commercial television,” says Gina Sirard, vice president of marketing for Mattel. “Girls really identify with Dora and we knew that girls would love to have their friend Dora grow up with them, and experience the new things that they were going through themselves like sex, pregnancy and getting into gangs. The brand captures girls’ existing love of Dora and marries it with the fashion doll play and online experiences older girls enjoy.”

“Dora the Explorer has been one of the most successful properties for nearly a decade, with an average of 21.1 million viewers, including 6 million preschoolers, tuning into the television show each month,” explained Leigh Anne Brodsky, president, NVCP. “We are thrilled to partner with Mattel to develop this brand extension that will enable girls to continue to learn and interact with their Latina heroine, Dora, as they grow up together into little sluts.”

As tweenage Dora, our heroine has moved to the big city, attends middle school and has a whole new fashionable look. Her parents on the show will still let her wander around dangerous areas unsupervised with her pet monkey.

Boots the monkey also grows up and becomes more aggressive as older monkeys do. One episode features Boots mauling Dora and having to be put down.

Yawn More Riverside UFO's

Taken by Riverside resident Alison Tate she claims she saw a large fast moving object and two smaller faster ones whizzing around it. In less than a minute they were gone.

OBB News wonders what is in the water over in Riverside.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Define Irony

New York, North America, The founder of an Islamic television station in upstate New York aimed at countering Muslim stereotypes has confessed to undulating and beheading his wife perhaps in the name of Allah.
Muzzammil Hassan has been charged with murder in the death of his wife, Aasiya Hassan.

Muzzammil Hassan was charged with second-degree murder after police found the decapitated body of his wife, Aasiya Hassan, at the Bridges TV station in the Buffalo suburb of Orchard Park, said Andrew Benz, Orchard Park's police chief.

Attempts to reach an attorney for Hassan were unsuccessful, and his family didn't return calls from OBB News which is just plain rude.

He had two children, 4 and 6, with his wife. He had two other children, 17 and 18, from his previous marriage.

He launched Bridges TV, billed as the first English-language cable channel targeting Muslims inside the United States, in 2004. At the time, Hassan said he hoped the network would balance negative portrayals of Muslims following the attacks of September 11, 2001.

The station's staff is "deeply shocked and saddened by the murder of Aasiya Hassan and the subsequent arrest of Muzzammil Hassan," a statement from Bridges TV said.
"Our deepest condolences and prayers go out to the families of the victim and death to America," the statement said.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Under-Age Couple Have Baby

Alfie Patten now aged 13 became the youngest father in Britain following the birth of Maisie, who was conceived when Alfie was 12-years-old. His girlfriend Chantelle Steadman is aged 15.

When asked what he will do financially, Alfie - the little horn-dog whose voice has not yet broken - replied: 'What's "financially"?'

Mrs Patten, Alfie's 43 year-old mother has doubts over the paternity of the week-old child as others have also claimed to have had a sexual relationship with the schoolgirl, from Eastbourne in Sussex.

Richard Goodsell, 16, a trainee chef admitted he had been sleeping with Chantelle for three months and around the time she fell pregnant and has now demanded a DNA test to prove he's the Dad.

Richard said:
“I know I could be the father. Everyone thinks I am. My friends all tell me that baby has my eyes— even my mum thinks so. Only a DNA test is going to sort this out properly. If I am the father, I have the right to know."

14 year old Tyler Barker also said:
“I slept with Chantelle in her bed about nine months ago and I’m really worried I could be the father. I hope it’s not me. All my mates have been teasing me about it as she is a right minger but this isn’t funny, it’s serious.”

Both boys and their parents have made sworn statements in front of a solicitor detailing their nights of ugly under-age sex with Chantelle.

Chantelle of course insists she lost her virginity to Alfie and that she was on the pill but she forgot to take it.

Alfie has agreed to take a DNA test but still believes he's the Dad.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Why Submarines Should Have Headlights

Nuclear submarines from Britain and France collided deep in the Atlantic Ocean authorities said Monday in the first acknowledgment of a highly unusual accident that one expert called the gravest in nearly a decade.

Officials said the low-speed crash did not damage the vessels' nuclear reactors or missiles or cause much of a radiation to leak.
Anti-nuclear hippy groups said it was still a frightening reminder of the risks posed by submarines prowling the oceans powered by radioactive material and bristling with nuclear weapons.

France reported on February 6th that one of its submarine had struck a submerged object perhaps a shipping container.

Confirmation of the accident only came after the British media reported it.

France's defense ministry said that the sub Le Triomphant and the HMS Vanguard, the oldest vessel in Britain's nuclear-armed submarine fleet, were on routine a patrol building a secret underwater strike command centre when they collided in the Atlantic this month.

France said that Le Triomphant suffered damage to a sonar dome and limped home to its base on L'Ile Longue on France's western tip.

HMS Vanguard returned to a submarine base in Scotland with visible dents and scrapes.

"The two submarines came into contact at very low speed, both commanders exchanged insurance details as is the protocol." Britain's First Sea Lord, Admiral Jonathon Band, said.

HMS Vanguard came into service in 1993, and has a crew of around 140 and typically carries 16 Lockheed Trident D5 missiles.
At least one of Britain's four submarines is on patrol and ready to fire at Russia or Iran any given time.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Texas Fireball

Dallas, Texas, North America. not the place you want to be at the moment as the state is not only swarming with rednecks and zombies now there are invaders from outer space.

What looked like a fireball streaked across the Texas sky on Sunday morning, leading many people to call authorities to report seeing falling debris.

"We don't know what it was," said Federal Aviation Administration spokesman Roland Herwig.

"We don't doubt what people saw" said U.S. Strategic Command spokesman John Foster. "It may have been the sun glinting off some blue ice falling off a jet plane" he added, "nothing going on here and any reports of police radio recordings stating that a UFO has just landed are false."

"There is no correlation between the sighting and debris from the satellite collision," said Maj. Regina Winchester, with STRATCOM.

Harold Punter was driving south into Denton when he saw the fireball: "I could see a dark mass at the front but I couldn't tell what it was, then it did a 90 degree turn and was gone in seconds."

The FAA notified pilots on Saturday to be aware of possible space debris after a collision on Tuesday between U.S. and Russian communication satellites.

The chief of Russia's Mission Control says clouds of debris from the collision will circle Earth for thousands of years and threaten numerous satellites.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

When Satellites Colide

A collision occurred between a US Iridium 33 communications satellite and a defunct Russian Kosmos 2251 military satellite.

America is following the debris path from the impact. It is hoped that most of it will fall to Earth and burn up in the atmosphere.

A Nasa memo said officials determined the risk to be "elevated" but have estimated it as "very small and within acceptable limits".

Luckily only less than a hundred people should die and it should be in the Seberian region so who cares?

Iran who recently launched their own satellite refused to comment.

Speculation Gets News Coverage

Scientists studying the DNA of Neanderthals say they can find no evidence that this ancient species ever interbred with modern humans.

Our closest ancestors may well have been able to speak as well as us, said Prof Svante Paabo from Germany's Max Planck Institute.

The genetics information has been gleaned from fossils found in Croatia. He confirmed that Neanderthals shared the FOXP2 gene associated with speech and language in modern humans.

Comparing the Neanderthal genome, and the human genome he has found genetic regions which make us "uniquely human"

Since Neanderthals lived side by side with modern humans in Europe for many thousands of years, it has been speculated that we may have inherited some Neanderthal DNA in our genome today, thanks to interbreeding Which would explain many bloggers out there today.

Overlooked evidence perhaps?

Professor Paabo's team have found no evidence for interbreeding.

If you can find no evidence then obviously it didn't happen then. No evidence to say that OJ Simpson is a murderer for has been found either.