Irony Is

Bradley M. Gellert, a 32-year-old from Florida of course tried to strangle his wife during a heated argument. She broke free and went to the Sheriff's Office. Nice t-shirt.

McNugget Emergency

A Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald’s employees told her they were out of Chicken McNuggets.
27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.

The McNugget Nazi of a cashier refused a refund and said all sales were final and told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate.

Gee I wonder why.

Goodman called 911 and said: “This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one, I need the nuggets man.”

Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge and for being an idiot.

A McDonald’s spokesman says Goodman should have been given a refund, and she’s being sent a gift card for a free meal.

When they say a free meal they don't mean the works, they mean a Big Mac meal or a regular sized McNugget meal. I think for the utter stupidity Goodman should be given several meals all served by a clown other than the cashier because even in this recession McDonald's for some reason is still making a profit.

OBB News wishes to thank the people of Florida and Texas for without them these idiot stories wouldn't exist.

A Blast From Last Years Idiot Crime Past

Above, Jordan "Tiddy" Tidwell, Franky "The Tank" Koonz, Rhian "Spaz" Jenkins and Melissa Jenkins

Florida of course, this crime from July 25, 2008, just speaks for itself about the sunshine state . Four young people were arrested for illegally climbing the county water tower and spray-painting the nicknames of three of them on the tower.

Deputies commanded all four to come down, which they did.

Jordan Tidwell, 18, had painted the name "Tiddy" on the tower. Franky Koonz, 18, had painted his nickname, "The Tank," on the tower. And Rhian Jenkins, also 18, had painted his nickname of "Spaz" on the tower. Melissa Jenkins, Rhian's sister, who was 21, was the most pathetic of all as she didn't have a nickname.

All four were arrested and charged with Burglary and Criminal Mischief.

Texan Zombies On The Loose

For years OBB News has been reporting about the amount of zombies to be found in the Texas and Florida areas but no one listened.
The commute into Austin Texas became one of horror as road signs told of the zombie danger.


There is only one thing worse than zombies, its Nazi zombies." This is really serious," Sara Hartley, a spokeswoman for the city Public Works Department told OBB News.

"It's sort of amusing, but not at all helpful," said Chris Lippincott, spokesman for the state Department of Transportation.

Not so amusing for us with tasty brains Mr Lippincott for that is the zombie main diet. OBB News suggests they take no chances with anyone from Texas or Florida and you must destroy the brain or sever the head.

No statement has been given from the Whitehouse yet which shows the seriousness of the situation.

Burger Batter

Florida, North America, A Vero Beach man faces charges after authorities said he assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger.

Vincent Gonzalez, 22, and his girlfriend got into an argument as they sat in a car in front of their home.

Gonzalez would not let the woman out of the vehicle, so she threw his drink out of the car. In response, the man allegedly grabbed her arm and smashed a Quarter pounder cheeseburger into her face.

The pair got out of the car, and authorities say the man took the McDonald's burger and put it on her face again.

The man was released on $1,000 bond but may face attempted murder charges as his girlfriend is lactose intolerant.

McDonald's have refused to take any responsibility for selling comestibles that can be used as dangerous weapons.

A McDonald's spokesman said: "The dressings were centred the pickles were side by side not touching and the two slices of cheese were star shaped at the point of purchase. What the customer does with it after that is not our concern."

Death Ray Strikes Again

When Steve Irwin, the host of the "Crocodile Hunter" television show was killed a Stingray while filming underwater on Australia's Great Barrier Reef in 2006 when its barb pierced his heart most people assumed it was a freak accident and maybe he just got a little too close.

Others have hinted at a secret Stingray agenda to eradicate mankind.

Also in 2006 an eagle ray was swimming in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and couldn't contain its lust for murder so on a suicide mission it jumped into the boat of James Bertakis, 81, and stabbed him in the chest.

He survived after doctors removed the barb through surgery. The animal died on the boat.

Only last week did another eagle ray on some kind of bid for martyrdom leap onto a boat off the Florida Keys on Thursday and stabbed a 55 year-old Michigan woman in the neck with its barb, knocking her to the deck and killing her.

"It's a bizarre accident or was it an accident?," said Jorge Pino, an agent with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

The woman and her family were aboard a boat in the Atlantic Ocean, off the city of Marathon in the Florida Keys, he said."A large ray jumped out of the water and collided with the victim and in a highly skilled move stabbed her with its barb ," Pino said.

Eagle rays are common in warm or tropical waters and are often seen near coral reefs. The spotted creatures can grow to more than 8 feet across and have two to six short, venomous barbs near the base of their whip-like tails, according to the Florida Museum of Natural History's Web site.

The rays often swim near the water's surface and can leap out, especially when pursued, but are generally shy of humans except for those they want to kill.

All three victims had been members of the 'Save the whale conservation fund' police are investigating a connection.