Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Lard Faces Jail Time If Found Guilty


Lincoln, Nebraska, North America . A Douglas County District Court judge threw out Sen. Ernie Chambers' lawsuit against Gog because the Almighty wasn't served a legal notice. And the judge doesn't seem to think it's possible to find the Almighty's front door.

Judge Marlon Polk wrote: "Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice".

Chambers, the longest serving state senator in Nebraska history, sought a permanent injunction against Gog. He said the Almighty has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants and also endowed the senator with a small limp penis."

Chambers has said he filed the lawsuit to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are poor or have the means of billionaire Warren Buffett of Omaha.

A fine American example to be able to sue anyone for anything and tie up the courts with stupid claims for years as written in the constitution somewhere at the back.

Chambers having the mind of a steel trap thinks he has found a loop-hole in the judge's ruling.

"The court itself acknowledges the existence of Gog. A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of Gog's omniscience. Therefore, Gog would have actual notice of that lawsuit."

"Since Gog knows everything, Gog has notice of this lawsuit."

Chambers has 30 days to decide whether to appeal the decision or go onto medication and said he hasn't decided yet what to do.

During a court appearance in August, while sitting a few feet away from an empty table reserved for Gog and Gog's attorney (who never showed up) Chambers argued that courts and the U.S. government already routinely take notice of Gog.

Courts swear in witnesses with an oath that includes the phrase "so help me Gog." Plus, the pledge of allegiance describes "one nation, under Gog," and U.S. currency proclaims "In Gog We Trust."

Chambers regularly skipped morning prayers during his 38 years in the legislature and to his eternal damnation often criticizes Christians.

2 comments:

Hyphen Mama said...

I wonder if Gog would pay for the suit with a cashier's check or gold. I wonder if Gog's money says "In Me I Trust... Because The Rest Of You Bastards Are Just Stupid".

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