Cold Water Shrinkage

Japanese zookeepers have finally worked out why two of their polar bears have not mated. The bears have both turned out to be female.

Tsuyoshi, a four-year-old "male" polar bear, and his 11-year-old female partner, Kurumi, have been living together since June at the Kushiro Municipal Zoo in Hokkaido, northern Japan.

The frustrated amateur zookeepers played Barry White music and shown porno movies but still the bears showed no signs of chemistry.

It had determined Tsuyoshi was a male three months after his/her birth and now the poor bear has a boy's name and a penis complex.

Breaking And Entering Bust Did Not Hold Up

Serena Kozakura, a Japanese model, has probably got her way numerous times based on the size of her breasts, but this has to be the first time they have ever helped her overturn a court ruling.

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Serena, 38 years old, was charged and found guilty of breaking into a man’s apartment by kicking in a hole in his door and crawling through it because he was with another woman.

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The bikini model was cleared of all charges after the defense council held up a plate showing the size of the hole that Serena was accused of kicking in.

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It was clear that the hole in the door was not large enough for the 44-inch bust model to squeeze through. He insisted that the judge studied the plate and the breasts close up and in detail.

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“I used to hate my body so much, but it was my breasts that won in court”, Serena said.

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Judge Kunio Harad of the Tokyo High Court threw out the guilty verdict, saying there was reasonable doubt over the man’s story and what was he thinking cheating on a woman with a chest like that?

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This reporter finds Ms Kozakura guilty of first degree hotness.

Batteries Not Included

At the start of a meeting in Switzerland to try to get more Japanese support for the fight against poverty in Africa Rock star Bono bowed deeply and gave Japanese Prime Minister Yasuo Fukuda an iPod.

Fukuda asked the singer who is a Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire if his music was on the red recording device.

"No, but you can download it," said Bono in a helpful but tightfisted way.

Part of the proceeds from sales of the special-edition red iPod go directly to the Global Fund to fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria in Africa and have so far raised $50 million and Bono didn't become as rich as he is today by giving away his music.

Fukuda later said in a statement that he was only interested in Africa for scientific research.