Life On Mars?

The Tofu 2 satellite took this image of what appears to be a structure on the planet Mars that resembles a face. Many in the scientific community claim it to be a sign of intelligent life on Mars while others have dismissed it as a trick of the light.

Cold Water Shrinkage

Japanese zookeepers have finally worked out why two of their polar bears have not mated. The bears have both turned out to be female.

Tsuyoshi, a four-year-old "male" polar bear, and his 11-year-old female partner, Kurumi, have been living together since June at the Kushiro Municipal Zoo in Hokkaido, northern Japan.

The frustrated amateur zookeepers played Barry White music and shown porno movies but still the bears showed no signs of chemistry.

It had determined Tsuyoshi was a male three months after his/her birth and now the poor bear has a boy's name and a penis complex.

Ginger Prince Harry Says He Is Not Ginger

At a recent comedy night in honor of his dad, Prince Charles. The spare to the throne Prince Harry wanted to make one thing clear: He's no ginger.
He told comedian John Cleese, who hosted the birthday comedy bash, "I'm not ginger. I'm auburn, that's what I've been told."

He has also been told that Prince Charles is his biological father which he also believes.

Black And White Carnage

Beijjing, China, A college student was bitten by a panda after he broke into the bear's enclosure hoping to get a hug.

The student was visiting Qixing Park with classmates on Friday when he jumped the 6.5-foot - high fence around Yang Yang's habitat.

The student was bitten in the arms and legs. Two foreign visitors who saw the attack ran to get help from workers at a nearby refreshment stand, who notified park officials.

The student was a pale shade of yellow as he was taken away by medics but appeared clear-headed.

"Yang Yang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn't expect he would attack," said the not so bright 20-year-old student, surnamed Liu, in a local hospital.

Yang Yang was behaving normally on Saturday and did not seem to suffer any negative psychological effects, a park employee said as students have been known to be quite toxic.

Last year, a panda at the Beijing Zoo attacked a teenager, ripping chunks out of his legs, when he jumped a barrier while the bear was being fed.

The same panda was in the news in 2006 when he bit a drunk tourist who broke into his enclosure and tried to hug him while he was asleep.The tourist retaliated by biting the bear on the backside.

Bear expert grizzly Adams said: " While animals like Pandas and Lemurs may look cute and harmless they are actually in the top 10 of nature's most effective killing machines as seen on Animal Planet. Only a full and thick beard will protect you from their vicious attacks."

Manager Gets Grilled Over naked Pictures

Phillip Sherman of Arkansas left his cell phone behind at a McDonald's restaurant by accident. On the phone were naked pictures of his wife Tina.

Employees of the Fayetteville store took great interest in the missing property and promised to secure it until he returned. Since then the pictures have turned up on the Internet.

The Shermans have filed a lawsuit for $3 million in damages for suffering, embarrassment , the cost of having to move to a new home and a breast enhancement operation.

Manager Aaron Brummley declined to comment, and other company officials didn't return messages..

McDonald's Spokesperson Hamburglar said: "We didn't steal the pictures we just borrowed them."

Edward Tandy a former employee of the store said in a brief comment: " LOL".

Tina Sherman has since re-thought her habit of sending naked pictures of herself to those in her top five.

Woman Happy to Have A Tapeworm In Her Brain

Rosemary Alvarez,a 37-year-old Phoenix woman was told by doctors that she had a brain tumor. Alvarez had been experiencing difficulty swallowing , numbness in her left arm and her teeth had turned to rubber.

Neurosurgeon Peter Nakaji operated on her only to find a tapeworm called Taenia solium inside her head.
A problem that doctors are seeing more and more of and likely contracted by eating under cooked pork or food tainted with the feces of a person that had poor hygiene when handling food.

Dr Nakaji did not rule out Global warming as a cause either.

Alvarez is recovering well but is upset that her tapeworm didn't make her thinner instead it made her dumb as a box of frogs. She is back to living a normal life but at times likes to lick windows.

The Lard Faces Jail Time If Found Guilty

Lincoln, Nebraska, North America . A Douglas County District Court judge threw out Sen. Ernie Chambers' lawsuit against Gog because the Almighty wasn't served a legal notice. And the judge doesn't seem to think it's possible to find the Almighty's front door.

Judge Marlon Polk wrote: "Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice".

Chambers, the longest serving state senator in Nebraska history, sought a permanent injunction against Gog. He said the Almighty has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants and also endowed the senator with a small limp penis."

Chambers has said he filed the lawsuit to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are poor or have the means of billionaire Warren Buffett of Omaha.

A fine American example to be able to sue anyone for anything and tie up the courts with stupid claims for years as written in the constitution somewhere at the back.

Chambers having the mind of a steel trap thinks he has found a loop-hole in the judge's ruling.

"The court itself acknowledges the existence of Gog. A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of Gog's omniscience. Therefore, Gog would have actual notice of that lawsuit."

"Since Gog knows everything, Gog has notice of this lawsuit."

Chambers has 30 days to decide whether to appeal the decision or go onto medication and said he hasn't decided yet what to do.

During a court appearance in August, while sitting a few feet away from an empty table reserved for Gog and Gog's attorney (who never showed up) Chambers argued that courts and the U.S. government already routinely take notice of Gog.

Courts swear in witnesses with an oath that includes the phrase "so help me Gog." Plus, the pledge of allegiance describes "one nation, under Gog," and U.S. currency proclaims "In Gog We Trust."

Chambers regularly skipped morning prayers during his 38 years in the legislature and to his eternal damnation often criticizes Christians.