Simon Says Edna Does

Edna and Simon were married in England back in 2005. Edna is 73 and Simon is 35

The couple met through their love of the organ, oh yeah they both love playing on the organ. Simon is dyslexic and dyspraxic which means hes a clumsy person who has reading difficulties but it turns out hes a master with his organ.

Surprisingly he had never had a girlfriend before he met and married Edna, who has three children, all older than Simon.

Edna tells OBB News that they share "the same passion as a pair of 25-year-olds. We kiss about 150 times a day and not always on the mouth."

Simon admits to being a cross-dresser and Edna says of this "If he wants to dress up in a green caterpillar suit with pink flip-flops what does it matter? I don't give a monkey's."

The hot couple also stay in bed for marathon sex sessions that last for days. OBB News hope that her hips hold out.

OBB News is in no way responsible for anyone that throws up after reading this story.

Give Us The Blitz Any Day

It could be the end of the world as we know it. Jack-knifed lorries blocking motor-ways, Airport runways shut with significant delays and cancellations, London City Airport closed, trains canceled , buses not in service driving past bus stops, 1,735 traffic incidents over a 24-hour period in the East Midlands alone. Is this the apocalypse? Yes the UK has had snow!

Texan Zombies On The Loose

For years OBB News has been reporting about the amount of zombies to be found in the Texas and Florida areas but no one listened.
The commute into Austin Texas became one of horror as road signs told of the zombie danger.


There is only one thing worse than zombies, its Nazi zombies." This is really serious," Sara Hartley, a spokeswoman for the city Public Works Department told OBB News.

"It's sort of amusing, but not at all helpful," said Chris Lippincott, spokesman for the state Department of Transportation.

Not so amusing for us with tasty brains Mr Lippincott for that is the zombie main diet. OBB News suggests they take no chances with anyone from Texas or Florida and you must destroy the brain or sever the head.

No statement has been given from the Whitehouse yet which shows the seriousness of the situation.

Well Hung Chess Playa

Oliver Edwerds-Cavall a 15 year-old schoolboy was found hanged by his mother in a caravan he lived in on his family's smallholding near Tanby, Wales.

He had no history of depression and his parents said he was usually a happy, caring boy with a good sense of humour.

Pambrokeshire coroner Michael Howalls said that Oliver died from self-inflicted asphyxiation by hanging from a belt that had been tied to the bathroom door of the caravan in which he lived.

The family ate together, watched television but later there was "an argument over a chess game".

Chess arguments have killed 8 people in the UK this year alone the government are seeking to put restrictions on the game.

The general feeling from the family was that Oliver hung himself in a fit of temper in a happy, caring way, humourous way.

He had no history of illness or depression ................. just an insane temper it seems.

Top Psychologist Old Knudsen believes there is more than meets the eye with this case.

At the time of his death, his head teacher said Oliver was making good progress and had been due to sit his GCSEs this June.

His teachers described him as a "lovable character" with a "wicked sense of humour", who was warmly regarded by fellow pupils.

Just don't mess with him where Chess is concerned.

Police Say LOL To Gangs

The New York Police Department 'NYPD' is asking police recruits who have MySpace or Facebook pages to watch as an investigator looks through their most private postings.

The measure is designed to weed out would-be cops who have on their Web sites , violent or explicit imagery, racist rants and any other material considered objectionable. There is no written policy on what is objectionable investigators just know it when they see it. Sometimes the investigators comment LOL if the page is particularly good.

Without the applicant logging on, only a subpoena could get the NYPD that much access to the private Web pages.

One applicant had a picture of him pointing a gun at a buddy.

"He said it was just his friend," but at that point the interviewer thought it best that he not join the New York City Police Department as the safety was still on.

The police also Google would-be cops and visit them online in the public pages of social-networking sites which explains all the humourless commenters.

The department has been embarrassed by disclosures of inappropriate online postings by cops and recruits.

A rookie cop named Christian Torres was arrested and charged with twice robbing a Sovereign Bank in Manhattan, along with one in Pennsylvania.

Internal Affairs investigators discovered Torres had a MySpace page in which he posted cartoons about bank robberies and listed his profession as "Oink"making fun of the police nickname "pig" which many officers are proud of.

Other web pages have had videos of violent police beatings, explicit photos involving police uniforms or gear, and bigoted remarks. If you like that sort of thing one investigator said, you should read http://oldbitterballs.blogspot.com/

Some recruits networking accounts included boasts of gang membership, or photos of the applicant sporting gang-related tattoos and making gang gestures. Shaven heads and neck tattoos should have given them away but this reporter thinks that it shows how the educational system is working as 10 years ago only 2% of gang members were on-line compared to today's 74%.

In many states like Florida gang membership is a bonus as they have their own guns and know how to use them.

One recruit had pictures and stories of how he did drugs and liked to beat up black people, he was allowed to join as boys will be boys.

Dun Rollin

A scarab species has been filmed in Peru attacking and eating millipedes 10 times its length.

D. valgum or the Dung Beetle is no longer dining just on feces. Instead, the nocturnal creature prefers to decapitate live prey with its armour "teeth" and then devour their insides.

It is a rare example of a scavenger species turning carnivore, say US scientists in a Royal Society journal.

Dung beetles (Scarabaeidae) are not renowned for their predatory instincts. They feast on

fresh animal feces which they gather into balls and roll with their hind legs.

But after the species Deltochilum valgum was seen grappling with millipedes several times its size, Dr Trond Larsen of Princeton University decided to find out whether it could actually be preying on the creatures.

"This is a remarkable transition," wrote Dr Larsen, a tropical ecologist, in the journal Biology Letters.

"Despite its close relationships with dung feeding species, D. valgum has entirely abandoned its ball-rolling behaviour, it shows there is only so much crap you can take.

"This is the first known case of an obligate predatory dung beetle species."

The carnivorous beetles use the same mouthparts their cousins use to extract bacteria from dung and carrion as weapons to assault and kill their much larger prey.

When placed together in observation chambers, the beetles began their attacks by grasping a millipede's body with its mid- and hind-legs.

The millipedes - up to 110mm long - responded by coiling or flailing their bodies to resist the grip of beetles just 7-8mm wide.

After waiting until the flailing slowed down, the beetles inserted their armour teeth between body segments, prying upwards with their head while simultaneously sawing with their fore-teeth.

"During one kill we observed, the force of the beetle's prying severed the millipede's head from the rest of its body," said Dr Larsen.

The team say their discovery demonstrates how small changes in the physiology of a species can lead to giant leaps in its behaviour.

If they were 4 foot tall they would rule the world.

The scientists believe this unusual evolutionary transition from a scavenger to a hunter-predator was driven by high levels of competition for food and the use of steroids in cattle that gets passed on to the beetles thus making them more aggressive ........ like Americans.

Dung beetles have been found to be fussy eaters. In 2006, researchers in Kuwait found when offered dung from horse, camel and sheep the beetles preferred the more fluid horse dung to the others I mean who wouldn't?

African dung beetle was the first animal found to navigate using moonlight, enabling it to orientate itself and make a hasty retreat from competitors when rolling a ball of dung.

So what will be next ? we asked Dr Larsen: "Probably Dung Beetle bloggers".

Criminals Should Not Be Allowed To Hang Around

The Ugandan Death Row Rappers

Uganda's Supreme Court has ruled in a case involving more than 400 death row inmates that the death penalty is constitutional under their law.

It was suggested that hanging was cruel and recommended that parliament consider another means of execution such as throwing criminals into farm machinery or getting hacked to death by machetes .

Convicts on death row will not stay there any longer than three years so all round good news for them.

Its bad when an African nation deems hanging cruel. Although the death penalty has not been used since 1999, the court said it acted as a deterrent to murder, except in the case of those 400.

Justice Egonda-Ntendesaid "I would agree that hanging as a method of execution as it is carried out in Uganda is a cruel, inhuman and degrading punishment," .

Old Knudsen who was once hanged for murder said earlier from his Malibu home: " The crime should fit the punishment its as simple as that."