Well Hung Chess Playa

Oliver Edwerds-Cavall a 15 year-old schoolboy was found hanged by his mother in a caravan he lived in on his family's smallholding near Tanby, Wales.

He had no history of depression and his parents said he was usually a happy, caring boy with a good sense of humour.

Pambrokeshire coroner Michael Howalls said that Oliver died from self-inflicted asphyxiation by hanging from a belt that had been tied to the bathroom door of the caravan in which he lived.

The family ate together, watched television but later there was "an argument over a chess game".

Chess arguments have killed 8 people in the UK this year alone the government are seeking to put restrictions on the game.

The general feeling from the family was that Oliver hung himself in a fit of temper in a happy, caring way, humourous way.

He had no history of illness or depression ................. just an insane temper it seems.

Top Psychologist Old Knudsen believes there is more than meets the eye with this case.

At the time of his death, his head teacher said Oliver was making good progress and had been due to sit his GCSEs this June.

His teachers described him as a "lovable character" with a "wicked sense of humour", who was warmly regarded by fellow pupils.

Just don't mess with him where Chess is concerned.

Monks Need Broadband

The monks who live on Caldey Island three miles from the Welsh coast sell perfume, chocolate and a little weed online to support their small community.

They found that slow Internet dial-up connection speeds were proving to be an impediment to their growing business and porn surfing activities .

The Abbot of Caldey Abbey, Father Daniel said "Patience is one of the characteristics of monastic life, but even the patience of brothers was being tested by our slow, dial-up Internet service."

I wonder what kind of language the holy brothers mutter towards their computers. Life is so different these days that the Internet and business needs takes over from Viking raiders of previous centuries, ah to have modern day problems .

Caldey Abbey became the grateful recipient of broadband from a communications tower on the mainland. The tower is run by TFL Group, who are proud to be delivering such a necessary service to the holy island.

The monks now have bling bling crosses around their necks instead of wooden ones due to their growing business and can often be found on Youtubes performing Jackass stunts.

Whats Happening In Wales?

The thriller by director M Night Shyamalan 'The Happening' has been banned from the Odeon cinema in Bridgend, south Wales.

The film depicts a spate of unexplained suicides and Wales has been recently plagued by a series of tragic suicides, 22 since January last year.

Carwyn Jones, 28, from Bettws, near Bridgend, was found hanged on Monday.

A spokesman for the Odeon cinema group said: "Odeon took the decision in May not to screen The Happening at Odeon Bridgend due to sensitivities around the content of the film in this particular region."

The Odeon in South Wales also refused to show 'The night of the sheep shagger' staring Daniel Day Lewis due to the constant violation of the local sheep and The 40 year old virgin was also banned but the manager didn't give a reason.

After showing the movie 'Spiceworld' there were 24 suicides across the UK.

Suicide is one of the most selfish ways to end a life, not only does it pain those left behind but it also hurts cinema goers.

I hope those 22 people who killed themselves can live with what they have done, now people either have to go to another town or wait for the DVD to come out.

Another M Night Shyamalan movie was banned in the small Scottish town in killamory.

In 2002 the film about alien invasion 'Signs' was banned due to a spate of alien abduction and anal fisting.

The film was a box office hit even though it had very obvious plot faults and goes to show you there is no such thing as bad press.

Drunk Vader Pounds The Nerdi Knights

Barney Jones 26, aka Jonba Hehol, and his brother Daniel Jones, 21, aka Morda Hehol, have formed the first Jedi 'church' - in Holyhead

Barney Jones and cousin Michael are members of the Jedi church in Holyhead, Wales in honour of the Star Wars' knights.

It has about 30 members locally and "thousands worldwide".

The cousins had been filming themselves playing with light sabres in the garden.
Suddenly a man jumped over the garden wall wearing the bin bag shouting, "Darth Vader!"

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead was under the bin bag and very intoxicated, he wielded a metal crutch and hit Barney Jones over the head , leaving him with a headache and a bad boo boo.
He then laughed and hit Michael Jones in the thigh, causing bruising and severe soiling of trousers.

Both grown men who still live with their mothers were left upset by the incident and they believed it was pre-planned.

When Hughes was charged with assault and failed to turn up at the court on time District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant, adding: "I hope the force will soon be with him."

Hughes turned up and the case at Holyhead magistrates court resumed.

Prosectutor Nia Lloyd said that the pair who will die virgins believe "very strongly in the church and their religion and one day the Millennium Falcon shall beam them up and save them at the end of the world."

The court heard that Hughes has a "chronic alcohol problem" and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine and that the two dorks were asking for it.

The court heard Hughes had previous convictions, including affray, assault and disorderly behaviour with a Romulan Warbird which was brutally plucked in the Wookie.

The trial will continue in May, if Hughes is sentenced he may be sent to the Klingon penal colony of Rura Penthe.