Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Let Slip The Dolphins Of War


On this 'Animal World Day' the US military has unveiled their new weapon in the fight against terror and all things scary.
If Al Qaeda or Iran were ever to form a navy of some kind they will have to face Donnie the Dolphin.

Guided by remote control to an internal transmitter inside Donnie he can be given commands such as seek out enemy ships and leap out of the water killing enemy combatants with a powerful fin mounted laser.

Dolphins are thought to be very intelligent though not so intelligent as to swim off to freedom.

General Platayus said: " We have given these fish 3 squares a day and a porpoise in life. These animals have been given the chance that dogs, horses, chimps and even pigeons have been given, to serve my country and maybe die for it if lucky ."

Rats With Wings Are A Real Head-Ache


In Seattle a pigeon carries on as if normal despite the metal dart piercing its head.

'People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals' is offering a $2,000 reward for information on whoever has been shooting downtown pigeons with blow guns.

They did not say what is considered ethical to shoot at pigeons with.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Throwaway Culture


India is full of tossers, baby tossers. The small town of Solapur, Maharashtra, India, they have a religious tradition of chucking infants from tall towers to give thanks to God.

"It's our family tradition and so we follow it" a fanatical devotee said.
God must enjoy it as there have been no casualties so far.

“Such bizarre primitive rituals should be banned and the state government should intervene. Such practices are a challenge to our sensibilities and the basic concept of common well-being,” President of Rationalist International Sanal Edamaruku said.

It is thought that the expression 'bouncing baby boy' came from this practice as boy babies bounce better than girl babies. The more bounces the more blessed the child is.

No Such Thing As A Free Tibet

In a twist of irony police in southern China raided a factory manufacturing Free Tibet flags. The factory in Guangdong had been completing overseas orders for the flag of the Tibetan government-in-exile.

Workers said they thought they were just making cheap, colourful, poor quality flags and did not realise their meaning.

When some of them saw their flags on TV being used in protests the not too bright patriotic workers put themselves out of a job and alerted the police.

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Monday, April 28, 2008

Global Warming Ate My Hamster


The inventor of the Internet and presidential election loser Al Gore never mentioned this in his film 'An Inconsistent Truth' about a strange consequence of the climate change caused by Global Warming that has been more executions of witches.

Every piece of unseasonable weather or high temperature has people saying News speak words like 'Global warming, Carbon Footprint or Carbon off-set' but the indirect social and political impact in poor countries is not just mild winters and early springs but include upheavals and civil wars and even more witches hacked to death with machetes.

In rural Tanzania, murders of elderly women accused of witchcraft are a very common form of homicide. And when Tanzania suffers unusual rainfall like drought or flooding witch-killings double, according to a study by Edward Miguel, an economist at the University of California, Berkeley.

“In bad years, the killings explode,” Professor Miguel said. He believes that if climate change causes more drought years in Tanzania, the result will be more elderly women executed there and in other poor countries that still commonly attack these vile evil drought causing witches.

The European witch-burnings between 1520 and 1770 may also have resulted from climate variations and the resulting crop failures, economic distress and search for scapegoats.

Emily Oster, a University of Chicago economist, tracked witch hunts and weather in Western Europe during those times and found a close correlation: colder weather led to more crackdowns on witches.

In particular, Europe’s “little ice age” led to a sharp cooling in the late 1500s, and that corresponds to a renewal in witchcraft trials after a long lull. And there’s also micro-evidence: in one area, a brutally cold May in 1626 led outraged peasants to call for punishment of witches thought responsible.

There is abundant evidence that economic stress and crop failures as climate scientists anticipate in poor countries can lead to violence and upheavals unlike all the rest of the time when countries in Africa and the Middle East are always at peace.

In the United States, for example, some historians have found correlations between recessions or declines in farm values and increased lynchings of blacks and during warmer periods hemorrhoids itch more which causes agitation and short tempers.

Ethnic conflict in Darfur was exacerbated by drought and competition for water, and some experts see it as the first war caused by climate change, nothing to do with religious ethnic cleansing carried out by the militia of the Sudanese government of course.

These climate scientists seem to think like Global Warming itself violence and civil war is new to the poor countries of the world. David Livingstone the fine Scottish missionary once described Africa as 'the open sore of the world' that was in the 1800's long before the Liberian warlords, the child soldiers of the Congo and Robert Mugabe who runs his country into the ground at the bidding of the communists.

Witches turned my cow's milk sour and my blog bitter I see nothing wrong with killing them.The more powerful male witches who are called Warlocks are not mentioned. I wouldn't be surprised if they caused Global Warming itself to eliminate the competition.

In a shocking study carried out by OBB News it was found that 98% of Climate Scientists are a afraid to get real jobs.
30 years ago it was an Ice-Age predicted and now its the whole planet heating up, its funny that during these times of world scares Climate Scientists get more funding and job security.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Life On Screen But Who Cares?


The 40-year-old Different Strokes actor Gary Coleman and his 22-year-old wife, Shannon Price, are set to appear on TV's "Divorce Court" in May . The couple wed in August and was reported about on this very News Blog.

Coleman has anger and intimacy issues."If he doesn't get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does," Price says.

Maybe comparing a midget to a 5 year-old isn't the best way to get on his good side.

"He like stomps the floor and yells, 'Meehhhh,' and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too.
"Coleman said, " what'chu talkin' 'bout, woman?"

"When I try to state my case or explain things to her or try to get her to understand my point of view," Coleman says, "my point of view doesn't matter."

Maybe she is too tall to see your point of view.

Price also complains that Coleman has no friends and can't help her move up in her career and disappears from home in the middle of the night.

"I don't have any friends and don't have any intention of making any," he says. "People will stab you in the back, mistreat you, talk about me behind your back, steal from you. And they're not really your friends. (They're) only there because you're a celebrity or because they want to get something from you.
"Coleman went on to describe the couple's private life as "mediocre."
"It's not her fault," he says. "I always feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders every day I get up. ... There are days I don't even want to get up."

OBB News doesn't really think people will mind if he doesn't get up he can only get up to 4 ft 8 inches anyway.
Its amazing the lengths some celebrities will go to so they can stay in the limelight after their career has gone.