Saving The Savage Beast

Rio De Janeiro, Brazil One of Brazil's last un-contacted Indian tribes has been spotted in the far western Amazon jungle near the Peruvian border.

The Indians were sighted during a fly over on the Ethno-Environmental Protected Area along the Envira River.

They saw 6 huts and a planted area and men from the tribe pointed arrows towards the small plane as it snapped some photographs of them. It is not known to which tribe they belong to.

Survival International said the Indians are in danger from illegal logging in Peru, which is driving tribes over the border and could lead to conflict with the estimated 500 un-contacted Indians now living on the Brazilian side.

There are more than 100 un-contacted tribes worldwide, most of them in Brazil and Peru, the group said in a statement.

Joseph Reid of 'Mission International' said: " These Indians are not just in danger from illegal logging but also from Satan. We must bring them news of the lord along with clothing to cover their sin and a Christian code of morality before anyone else gets to them ."

The National Indian Foundation of Brazil do not make contact during fly-bys they did however drop magazines containing the latest news about Shakira and Britney Spears as even the un-contacted tribes have a right to know.

The Disadvantage Of A One-Eyed Snake

A month ago an un-named Australian man decided that the world was his toilet and crouched on the roadside near Laura, 300km northwest of Cairns.

A deadly brown trouser snake slithered between his legs and bit the end of his penis.

Details of the incident only came to light yesterday after they were confirmed by a paramedic.

"It certainly had a swipe at him," an ambulance spokesman said yesterday.

"But it didn’t envenomate him but it must have got a bit of a shock."

The snake beat a hasty retreat, leaving its victim with a scratch, vomiting and abdomen pain, he asked his buddy to suck out the poison he thought he had been injected with but his friendship wasn't that close.

Emergency workers raced to the scene to treat the man.

The wound was wrapped in plastic in case poison had penetrated the skin but medical staff gave the man the all-clear after conducting tests.

The ambulance spokesman described him as "lucky", given his near encounter with one of Australia’s most poisonous snakes.

"I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed," he said.

He was later reported as saying to the Doctor "Have you got something that will get rid of the pain, but keep the swelling?"

Stone Cold Sharon

Sharon Stone the 50-year-old actress suggested last week that the devastating May 12 earthquake in China could have been the result of bad karma over the government's treatment of Tibet.

Ng See-Yuen, founder of the UME Cineplex one of China's biggest cinema chains and the chairman of the Federation of Hong Kong Filmmakers, called Stone's comments "inappropriate" and says his company would not show her films in his theaters.

"I'm not happy about the way the Chinese are treating the Tibetans because I don't think anyone should be unkind to anyone else," Stone told OBB News.

"And then this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and then I thought, is that karma? When you're not nice that the bad things happen to you?"

You'd think that ever since Tom Cruise giving his highly educated opinion on anti-depressants that actors should stop thinking for themselves and just stick to reading what the writers write for them and trying to look young and pretty.

I don't think the Chinese school children were hurting Tibet.

It is thought that Stone's career slid into obscurity because of bad karma for movies like Basic Instinct and Sliver.

A woman who answered the phone at the Foreign Ministry in Beijing refused to give her name or position said "Who is Sharon Stone is she married to Ozzy?"

The Dalai Lama said earlier today: " Please stop trying to help us Miss Stone."

American televangelist Pat Robertson called for the death of the Dalai Lama and said, " If China wasn't so full of sinful commie loving heathens this would never had happened."

Stone has at least four movies coming up between now and 2010, including "Streets of Blood," "Five Dollars a Day" and "The Year of Getting to Know Us."

Unless any big stars are in them I don't think China will really be missing out.

Exports From Asia

Actual size.

Yet another fatal threat besides contaminated toys and medicines to be exported to the west from Asia is the Asian tiger mosquito.

The mosquito has already established itself in Northern Italy and has been found in Germany, France and the Netherlands and now it could be heading towards Great Britain say scientists at the Government's Health Protection Agency at Porton Down in Wiltshire. .

The tiger mosquito so named because of its stripes can

transmit Chikungunya fever, West Nile virus, Mad mosquito disease and Dengue fever.

The mosquito lays its eggs in water, it is thought it could survive in small pools that collect in tyres sent to Britain on container ships from Asia .

It has also adapted to dryer climates and has been known to lay its eggs in the eyes of people while they sleep.

People are at risk day and night from the bites of this mosquito which can cause a sharp pain like a needle prick and running around swearing and waving your arms in panic.

First found in used tyres in 1985 in Texas 2 years later it had spread to 17 states. It lays 100 to 300 eggs at a time and can carry up to 20 known diseases and 8 unknown ones.

A spokesman at Porton Down said: " The average Briton is too thick skinned for this mosquito to penetrate but we advise campers and others who sleep outside to wear an eye mask."

The almost mythical Asian bore worm that has been found chewing holes in concrete and living under the streets of California has been reclassified by experts as a sub-species to the Asian variety and has been named the Californian bore worm.

The public is advised to stay away from them if one is found as their pincers can easily remove fingers.

Toad Lickers Beware!

New York's poison control center issued the warning for New Yorkers to stay away from an illegal aphrodisiac made from toad venom after the product killed a man.

A hospital reported that a 35-year-old man who ingested the hard, brown substance died earlier this month. The victim, whose identity was not released, was admitted to the hospital complaining of chest and abdominal pain. He died two days later.

The product is sold under names including Piedra, Love Stone, Jamaican Stone, Wood Stone, Black Stone, Romancing The Stone and Chinese Rock at sex shops and neighbourhood stores.

It is banned by the Food and Drug Administration.Health officials said the hardened resin, made with venom from toads of the Bufo genus, contains chemicals that can disrupt heart rhythms sending all the blood to the penis.

The aphrodisiac was supposed to have been applied to the skin, not eaten, but authorities said even that use can be harmful.

"There is no definitely safe way to use it," said Dr. Robert Hoffman, director of the city's poison control center. "Don't buy it. Don't sell it. If you have it, don't use it. Throw it out, learn from my mistakes a painful 8 hour erection is no fun at all."

The same type of product killed a 40-year-old man in Brooklyn in 2002 and at least four New Yorkers in the early 1990s.

A 17-year-old boy also fell seriously ill, but survived following hours of aggressive treatment.

City investigators went looking for the poison and found it was being sold sporadically in grocery stores, smoke shops and from street vendors. Sometimes its sold in packaging labeled only in foreign languages and so the inspectors get confused.

It isn't clear how available the aphrodisiac is elsewhere in the U.S. but those who use it shouldn't be any great loss to mankind, authorities said.

A Victim Of Inflation

A Cambodian father who is a mechanic found something out about childcare the hard way. He tried to inflate his 5-year-old son by inserting an air hose into his son's anus.

Try Sienghym was "playing" with his son Sok Sambo by sticking things up his rectum as Cambodian fathers do when the incident took place.

The child's stomach became distended and his concerned mother rushed him to hospital, where he remains in a stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery.

"The father very much regrets playing like this now," according to family members and expresses extreme disappointment in his son when he didn't blow up and flow like in a scene from a Harry Potter movie.

God Hates The Westboro Baptist Church

Pastor Fred W. Phelps Sr., Shirley L. Phelps-Roper, Rebekah A. Phelps-Davis and Westboro Baptist Church had picketed the funeral of a Marine invading the privacy and inflicting intentional emotional distress on the family last year.

A federal district court in Maryland found them guilty and awarded Albert Snyder, father of the Marine compensatory and punitive damages totaling $5 million which means property owned by the three named Phelps family members and the church itself would be confiscated.

There is also the matter of tax exemption for the truck they use for transporting picket signs saying how God hates: Fags, America, The Marine Corps, Ireland, Sweden, Catholics, Double Dippers , Shrimp and Bloggers.

The law requires that a property must be used exclusively for religious purposes to be exempt from taxation and that some of the messages were political.

Margie Phelps as part of her argument said that the signs aren't political.

"If any member of this church were to endorse a political candidate which they never do it would be the kiss of death," she said.

It looks like the beginning of the end for this fanatical sect it seems that even in America the land of free speech its best to shut your mouth sometimes if you're a moron.

Whiskey Galore For Charles And Camilla

The Old Bushmills Distillery in County Antrim, Northern Ireland was visited by Prince Charles the Prince of Wales and his wife Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall.

The little village of Bushmills and the surrounding area was first granted a licence to distill whiskey by King James I in 1608.

The Royal couple met many of the 120 staff who help to produce 500,000 cases of Old Bushmills, every year.

Charles and Camilla said the tour was very nice but wanted to cut to the tasting.

The distillery's master blender, Helen Mulholland said: " After a few drinks the pair were all over each other like horny teenagers I didn't know where to look."

The couple walked hand in hand giggling to the visitors centre where they unveilled a plaque commemorating their visit but were very eager to leave as soon as they were presented with a personalised bottle of 12-year-old single malt whiskey and a 1608 anniversary bottle of Crystal Whiskey.

The prince was heard to say: "If the Limo is rocking don't come a knocking."

Israeli Tourist Strips Naked For Money

Wellington, New Zealand, An Israeli tourist who felt harassed when New Zealand road workers whistled at her stripped naked in response.

Workmen in the small town of Kerikeri were repairing the main street when the young woman who was using an ATM took offense at their attention.

She calmly stripped bare causing the work and the whistling to stop and then put her clothes on and walked away.

Sgt. Peter Masters said the woman told police she didn't take kindly to the men's wolf-whistles."She said she had thought `... I'll show them what I've got,' " as the men whistled at her, he said.

"She gave the explanation that she had been ... pestered by New Zealand men who are all pigs . She's not an unattractive-looking lady I'd do her, " he said.

The sergeant has reviewed the ATM surveillance cameras closely.

"She was taken back to the police station and spoken to and told that was inappropriate (behaviour) in New Zealand," he added.

The workmen who did behave appropriately as stated in the U.N. labour charter for sexual harassment rights for workers who see women passing by were given pats on the back for making the woman strip off.

John Thomas from the New Zealand Work Relations Board said: "These men are a credit to the nation, true ambassadors who give hope to workers everywhere."

The trouble making tourist is to leave New Zealand soon.

Police Brutality With A Smile

Manila, Philippines , Philippine police officers were instructed to smile in public or face suspension in an attempt to spruce up their image as rough and rude.

The new guidelines were announced after one of the country's bloodiest weeks in crime. Ten people were lined up and shot dead in a bank robbery last week, and a man went on a killing spree in a farming town that left eight residents dead.

"We are encouraging policemen to be community friendly," police Director Leopoldo Bataoil said.

"There is no place for rough and brusque officers in this organization we will even thank criminals who surrender to us.

"He said police were responding to public complaints over officers' behavior at road checkpoints.

"Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening. Sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you so much. Sir/Ma'am. Would you like a cup of cup? Have a nice day ... these are words of courtesy which the public wants to hear from us as we tear gas them," Bataoil said.

He said officers who fail to follow the guidelines will be charged administratively and face suspension and a training course on hugs and smiles.

Bataoil added:" from now on when you watch our officers on the news shooting at rioters or beating someone with their batons they will be smiling and showing courtesy."

A Corny Legacy

The controversy about waterboarding prisoners to get information has been white washed. The Bush administration has dropped the issue on whether or not waterboarding is torture or merely interrogation by introducing a new form of interrogation to replace waterboarding thus making it a none issue.

Known as corn cobbing this method of interrogation does not waste water and so in environmentally friendly though it is not very friendly on the prisoner's corn hole.

Environmentalists are crying out that more pressure to grow corn for bio-fuels and now for interrogation tools will lead to a world wide shortage of food.

The Bush administration with a bill out that favours American farmers growing corn countered this argument by saying it would only be the poorer nations who would suffer, the American economy would remain strong and throbbing.

President Bush is such a fan of corn that he hopes to set an example to the nation by wearing clothes made out of corn products and building an extension on to his ranch in Texas made out of corn.

Rick Shaw Has The Answers

New Delhi, India, boasts of its rise in wealth and technology ever since out sourcing brought millions of jobs from aboard to the country.

A fleet of these environmentally friendly school buses ferry children to and from school reaching top speeds of 5 miles per hour going down hill.

Safety is a paramount concern so parents are required to sign no liability waivers against the company before letting the kids use the service .

Great Britain And Canada Tie The Knot

The eldest grandson of Queen Elizabeth II married his Canadian fiancee in a private ceremony at Windsor Castle.

Peter Phillips and Autumn Kelly wed at the castle's 15th-century St. George's Chapel in front of 300 guests including the queen, Prince Philip, Prince Charles, and Phillips' mother, Princess Anne.

Prince Harry, the third in line to the throne, and his girlfriend Chelsy Davy were also there. As were Amy WineHouse, Gary Busey , Harrison Ford with his girlfriend Alley McBeal.

The bride who isn't related to him at all wore a traditional white dress by Sassi Holford and a tiara lent to her by her mother-in-law.

She was led into the chapel by her father Brian. Her bridesmaids, wearing light green dresses, included Peter's sister Zara Phillips.

After the ceremony, the couple left in a horse-drawn carriage for their reception where they snorted coke and drank to excess.

Phillips the 11th in line to the throne met Kelly in 2003, when both were working at the Montreal Grand Prix.

Kelly didn't know that Phillips with the 4 man-servants and 3 bodyguards was a royal and only made the discovery when she spotted her husband-to-be in a program about Prince William.

What a great way to start a marriage, with secrets.

The couple, both 30, live in London. Phillips works for the Royal Bank of Scotland while Kelly, a graduate of Canada's McGill University, is a personal assistant to broadcaster Sir Michael Parkinson inventor of the disease bearing his name.

Kelly renounced her Roman Catholic faith and joined the Church of England to marry Phillips. Under centuries-old British law, a royal who marries a Catholic cannot take the throne.

The law also said Canadians were forbidden but they made an exception as they didn't want to offend anyone except for the Catholics.

However Phillips and Kelly raised eyebrows in some quarters by agreeing to sell the story of their nuptials and honeymoon pictures to the celebrity magazine Hello! for a sum reported at up to $1 million.

What an attractive couple they should have asked for $2 million.

Straight To DVD

Kosher Meth

In America's largest kosher slaughterhouse Agriprocessors in Postville, Iowa, police raided it after a 6 month investigation when they suspected everything was not so kosher.

80 percent of the workforce was illegal. They included rabbis responsible for kosher supervision, who believed entered the United States from Canada without proper immigration documents.

Other illegal immigrants were found along with a methamphetamine laboratory . You don't have to be high to work there but it helps.

In total 697 plant employees were believed to have violated federal laws.

Agriprocessors officials made a brief comment to OBB News: " Oy veh again with the persecution, God chose us to make meth we are the chosen dealers."

Television Commercials For The Hard Of Hearing

Loud television commercials that have you reaching for the mute button have been a worldwide annoyance for years, there are devices that can regulate the sound but they have to be put in during the manufacturing of the television set and the advertisers pay for them not to be.

Like an abusive marriage you are expected to sit there and be shouted at about feminine hygiene products, stubborn dirt stains and being devastated at the discovery of having genital herpes. (Taken from this reporters experience of married life)

British regulators at the ' Broadcast Committee of Advertising Practice,' have adopted a new rule establishing that TV ads shouldn't be "excessively noisy or strident." It elaborated by stating that "broadcasters must endeavor to minimize the annoyance that perceived imbalances could cause, with the aim that the audience need not adjust the volume of their television sets during program breaks." We're told that stations who choose not to invest in the loudness-level meter (which will ensure compliance) may actually have to "turn down the sound during commercials." Of course, whether anyone chooses to follow these guidelines is another matter.

A way for advertisers retaliate to the lack of sound could be by closed captioning in CAPITAL LETTERS.

The question why is it that we pay for cable and satellite channels but still get commercials? doesn't look like its ever going to be addressed.

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What A Lot Of Bull

Chilli the black and white Friesian bullock pictured here with his fondler Tara Nirula, is described as a gentle giant.

Despite his grand stature, Chilli only grazes on grass during the day and enjoys the occasional swede as a treat. The Swedish embassy was not available for comment.

The Bull from Ferne Animal Sanctuary in Chard, Somerset stands at 6 foot 6 inches from floor to shoulder and has been entered for the Guinness Book of Records.

Ms Nirula said: " We hope he is a record breaker otherwise he'll end up on the dinner plate, I'd be sad about that though I am also quite looking forward to it as Chilli is a fine lean animal."

Frog Alert

A flood of frogs fearlessly dodged traffic in a mass exodus from something. Many Chinese people saw this migration as a bad omen of a coming natural disaster. The Chinese government said it was natural for the purpose of propagation. No one took the omen very seriously.

That was 8 days before the 7.9-magnitude earthquake. The question is what do the frogs know that we don't ?

Einstein A Go Go To Hell

It has long been a matter of debate what the religious beliefs of former Marilyn Munroe lover and inventor of the Atom bomb Albert Einstein had.

Towards the end of his life he wrote in a letter a response to the philosopher Eric Gutkind casting doubt that he even believed in God.

In 1954, he wrote: "The word god is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weakness, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish.

Harsh stuff Mr Einstein but how can they be legends when the life of Jesus has been presented on the 'History' channel?

Einstein, died the following year aged 76 after being struck down by lightning , he did not spare Judaism from his criticism, believing Jewish people were in no way "chosen" by God.

He wrote: "For me the Jewish religion like all others is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions. And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people. "As far as my experience goes, they are no better than other human groups, although they are better protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power.

Otherwise I cannot see anything 'chosen' about them."

The Americans have chosen them to keep the oil prices up in the middle east and the Holy city away from the Muslims awaiting Christ's return it seems.

The letter, which for decades has been in private hands, has come to light as it is to go on sale at Bloomsbury Auctions in Mayfair on Thursday.

It is expected to sell for up to £8,000.

Educated at a Catholic primary school but given private tuition in Judaism, Einstein later wrote that the "religious paradise of youth" - when he believed what he was told - was quickly crushed when he started questioning religion at the age of 12.

Catholicism and Judaism , if only the poor man had found Presbyterianism for then he might not be allegedly burning in Hell.

Einstein wanted to believe and said he wanted to "experience the universe as a single cosmic whole".

The only thing the letter made clear was that Einstein was no genius.

Nosferatu Makes A Sucker Out Of Movie Fans

The first screen portrayal of Dracula was so scary that some critics asked whether the actor Max Schreck himself could be a vampire.

The German actor who stared in the 1922 film ' Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror ' was born in 1879 and is said to have died of heart failure aged 56, and was buried in an unmarked grave near Berlin in 1936.

Screck has actually been seen in recent years and was interviewed by German author Stefan Eickhoff, who has written what he says is the first biography of Schreck.

"Nosferatu" failed to make its lead a star, but achieved such cult status that some film scholars speculated his name Schreck means "fear" or "fright" in German was a pseudonym.

Eickhoff found there were virtually no anecdotes featuring Schreck, nor any references to him in the memoirs of the many people he had worked with, it was as if no one remembered anything about him.

Schreck, who was married to a woman he once described as a 'real pain in the neck' had no children except for those of the night, he was a loner and would spend hours walking through dense, dark forests wearing a black cloak.

Eickhoff said of his interview with the actor: " Schreck would have been over 120 years old which would have been impossible, the man was strong and very alert and looked like he was only in his 70's."

Still mysterious Schreck would not go into detail about his life after the 1922 film.

In his book Eickhoff describes his encounter with Schreck as a bird eying up a nice juicy grub.

Secure That Beer

Australian men are famous for having the priorities of beer and food over women and children anyday so this case should not be surprising.

Constable Wayne Burnett pulled a vehicle over on a highway south of Alice Springs.

"There were four adults in the car, two in the front seat and two in the back seats and in between those adults there was the carton of beer strapped in with the belt," he said.

"The child was sitting in the lump on the floor in the centre, unrestrained."

The driver was fined 750 dollars (£360) for driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle and failing to ensure a child was wearing a seatbelt.

Alice Springs Police Superintendent Sean Parnell expressed shock at the incident.

"Never mind the responsibility that all passengers in vehicles should be secured in an appropriate manner and the beer and not the child had a seat belt on. The beer was Fosters, what a national embarrassment."

This Was No Natural Disaster

Monday's magnitude-7.9 quake, China's deadliest in three decades with a death toll of more than 12,000 and tens of thousands homeless was no natural disaster.

The city of Mianyang home to the headquarters of China's nuclear weapons design industry was the first test site for a top secret earthquake machine according to anonymous sources from the CIA.

The growing pressure on China with the poisonous products they have exported and the Olympic torch carrying protests over the invasion of Tibet has given China nothing but bad press.

To distract the world the Chinese government created this disaster sacrificing its own people to attain sympathy from the West. 12,000 people is nothing compared to China's ever growing popluation of just over 1.3 billion people.

Choosing Generic Name For Viagra Proves Hard

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen.

Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Sissy Breeze

This ghost picture was taken in 1929 by the late Robert D. Walsh at a mill in the United States. The lady appears to be looking downward, as she descends the staircase.

Taken in what was then called Fanham Wood Mill in early January 1929, by builders aid Robert D. Walsh. Mr. Walsh was renovating the inner staircase and needed a photographic aid to measure timber needed for the project .

Mr Walsh did not see anything other than the staircase and timber jointed roof, whilst taking the photograph, and he swears nobody other than himself and his dog were present but says his dog was acting strange that day.

The photograph is owned by Mr. Walsh's great granddaughter. Mr. Walsh died in November 1943, having sworn many times to the authenticity of the photo.

The great granddaughter's older sister (now deceased) always used to tease her that "Sissy Breeze" would come looking for her if she was naughty. A reference to the photograph.

Cold War Hot Tea

Top secret documents dating from 1954 to 1956 were released under the Freedom of Information Act by the National Archives in Kew, south west London.

They show that the British had their priorities right if it ever came to a Cold war nuclear attack.

A big problem they faced was stock piling enough tea to keep the survivors of a thermo nuclear holocaust happy and in good spirits.

There would be a very serious loss of 75% of stocks and substantial delays in imports and with no system of rationing it would be wrong to consider that even 1oz per head per week could be ensured, noted one official.

"No satisfactory solution has yet been found."

Tea was what helped Great Britain colonise a quarter of the world, defeat Germany three times (1966 world cup is seen to be as important as the world wars) and gives the British their super strength and flying abilities.

Who would want to live after a nuclear war without tea ? Only the uncivilised .

A Ministry of Food list "for departmental planning purposes only" puts London, Birmingham, Merseyside, Manchester and Clydeside as H Bomb targets.

Those listed as A bomb targets were Tyneside, Teesside, Leeds, Sheffield, Hull, Derby, Purfleet in Essex, Southampton, Portsmouth, Bristol, Plymouth, Cardiff, Coventry, Belfast and Larne.

In My day We Made Our Own Entertainment

Is the UK losing its friendly, sociable habits? do we even know who lives on our street anymore? Do blinds not twitch when the neighbours walk past and is this aiding global terrorism?

More than (36%) of us would not trust anybody on our street with our house keys if they went on holiday, according to ICM research .

Among 25 to 34 year olds that figure is almost a half (48%).
Meanwhile, more than one in five (22%) believes our neighbourhoods have become less friendly in the last five years.

In Nazi Germany of the 1930's the Gestapo relied on the friendliness of people to spy on their neighbours for them.

The study of neighbourliness was aimed at finding out how much people interact with others on their own street.
Bolton Woods is an old urban mill village in Shipley, West Yorkshire.

It is the sort of place that used to epitomise close-knit Yorkshire life but Bill Mitchell, who has compiled an archive of local history, feels the people around him have less and less in common.
"Ask anybody what's happening in the village [and they'll say] 'I don't know'. But you ask them what's happening on Coronation Street or Emmerdale, some such tripe like that, and they'll tell you immediately."

Yes Mr Mitchell its a new invention called television, most homes now own a set or three.

He puts it down to what the village has lost, the institutions that used to bring people together and so they could gossip about the business of others .

Over the years, Bolton Woods has lost four mills, the church, three chapels, the library, the doctor's surgery, 24 shops and the state primary school.

What about pubs?

The people are much the same. There is work and money in their pockets but they don't have any reason to get to know one another in the way they once did and it has led to a divide between young and old.

Bill Mitchell feels he has nothing in common with those around him. Maybe he should stop hiding in books and get out more and form a local historical association.

The pantomime, the concert parties, the glee club and dozens of other sad embarrassing local activities from 60 years ago have disappeared.

Hilda Cartwright a retired busy body . "Everybody knew everybody, you could go in people's houses and talk, leave your door open. You can't do that now, can you?"

Well you can its called a home invasion.

Younger families say they hardly see anyone outside their immediate circle.
Some work nights, others simply said that "nowadays you keep yourself to yourself".

At the community centre, the repeated comment was that young and old especially had stopped talking to each other.

Did they ever speak to each other? The old never wasted their time talking to the young and the young have always thought they knew it all anyway.

ICM also came to the conclusion that 98% of statistics were right 48% of the time.

Calls For Ankle Body Armour

Riverdale,Utah, America. The police chief in Riverdale Dave Hansen aged 54, accidentally shot himself in an ankle while demonstrating how to dislodge a jammed handgun.

The chief accidentally fired a gun during a training exercise inside a conference room at Riverdale police headquarters. Riverdale police officers carry .40-caliber pistols.

Hospital supervisor Rohn Larsen said Hansen was in stable condition and added that he had really shot himself in the foot if he ever wanted promotion.

The chief's brother, a state lawmaker, said Hansen is a 23-year veteran and chief of the Riverdale police force since 2006.

Rep. Neil Hansen, said he regularly goes target practicing with his brother and described him as safety-conscious for a flat foot.

"I've never seen him do anything reckless," Neil Hansen told OBB News which explains his brother's low arrest rate.

Having a loaded weapon inside a building pointing at a part of his own body could be the first reckless thing hes ever done, way to set an example Chief.

Chinese Heads Meat

In a historical meeting Pak Ju-Bing of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China meets with Pik Bong-ju of the Central Committee of the Interior Communist Party of China to talk about bilateral cooperation in various fields including cultivating good-neighborliness and friendship and enhancing cooperation with the people of Tibet and maintaining the ever-lasting vigor and robustness of Chinese world domination.

This important meeting went well and contamination of Chinese export goods is well a head of schedule. It is not sure which of the leaders were which but a good time was had by all.

A Sign Of The Times

In Houston,Texas, America. US citizens a fine example of the American education system protest amnesty for illegal immigrants arguing that anyone who can’t master English doesn’t deserve to live in America.

Shortly after the protest immigration police swooped in and deported all those with mis-spelt signs just to point out the irony.

Michael Stipe Stuns World

Michael Stipe lead singer of the American pop group REM has come out of the closet and told OBB News that he is a gay homosexual. He may have broke this news a few years ago and again last month but he was bored and it was a slow news day.

OBB News asks the question: Who ever thought he was heterosexual ?

Stealth Fighter Jet

The US military has revealed their latest top secret fighter jet with stealth capacity. Invisible to the human eye and won't show up on radar.

12 of these stealth fighters have been made so far however the military would like help from the public to find 9 of them as they can't remember where they parked them.

The Stars May Be Bright In Texas But The People Aren't

Fort Worth, Texas, America. A 21-year-old North Texas man Charles Ray Fuller was arrested last week for trying to cash a $360 billion (euro230 billion) cheque saying he wanted to start a record business, authorities said.

Tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious as Fuller didn't even have a bag to hold the money or perhaps it was the 10 zeros on a personal cheque that tipped them off but they were on the ball for this one .

Fuller was arrested on a forgery charge, police said. He was released after writing a cheque for $3,750 (euro2,400) bail.

Fuller said his girlfriend's mother gave him the check to start a record business, but bank employees who contacted the account's owner said the woman told them she did not give him permission to take or cash the cheque as she knew she only had $240 billion in the bank and did not want to pay the outrageous overdraw fees, according to police.

In addition to forgery, Fuller was charged with unlawfully carrying a weapon as he had a .25-caliber handgun and magazine 'Maxim' and less than 2 ounces of marijuana in his possession , Fort Worth police Lt. Paul Henderson said.

Actor Robert Duvall was available for comment: "Texans, the lowest form of white man there is. "

You Dirty Rat

A cloud rat was found in a mossy forest about 7,700 feet above sea level in Mt. Pulag National Park in the Philippines. It was the first of its species to be seen in 112 years.

Thankfully authorities are now setting poisoned traps in case there are more.

It Always Pays To Tip

St. Louis, America, Newspaper carrier Bruce Pitts or 'Wookie' as his friends call him felt something was wrong when the papers piled up outside the home of elderly couple fred and Blanche Roberts.

"It was never like them to leave a newspaper in their tube," Pitts said . "That wonderful, small voice inside me said, `This isn't right."

After his route early Sunday, Pitts went home, napped briefly and, with his wife, returned to Blanche and Fred Roberts home, just outside Marion, Illinois.

They repeatedly rang the doorbells but got no answer. Pitts then eased open an unlocked side door and saw the couple about two feet inside, 84-year-old Blanche Roberts helpless looking right back at Pitts.

She was pinned beneath the body of her 77-year-old husband Fred, who apparently had died last Wednesday evening of a heart attack after mowing the lawn.

Blanche Roberts, 84, is a frail and petite lady and suffered no ill effects but thrist. Fred her 77 year-old toy boy always felt amorous after a good mowing and decided to hoe Blanche's garden.

Fred was described as a "good sized man" by Pitts and he also had a large build.

Blanche Roberts, who often tipped him in letters and was known to Pitts and his wife as "The Prayer Lady."

In her missives, "Blanche would say, `I've been praying for you at night whenever the weather's bad, realizing you're out in it delivering our papers,"' Pitts said. "We'd always say a little prayer back."

Pitts said, the Lord was with Fred Roberts in his final moments and he must of seen the tunnel of light because we were told his last words were, "I'm coming."

Herbalife loses 186 Lbs

Los Angeles, America, Herbalife Ltd. said its president and chief operating officer, Gregory L. Probert, has resigned days after acknowledging he exaggerated his academic credentials.

Probert has been under investigation by the company's board for misstating his academic credentials in his biography.

Probert's biography stated he had a master's in business administration which he got in less than a month with amazing results, but he acknowledged last week that he never fully completed the requirements for his MBA at California State University, Los Angeles and it was all done with body doubles and computer manipulation.

Probert's admission followed press inquires that stemmed from an investigation by Barry Minkow. Minkow runs the Fraud Discovery Institute in San Francisco and has been a vocal critic of Herbalife.

He is currently shorting the shares, which means he is betting the stock price will drop.

Herbalife, which sells nutritional supplements and weight-loss products, said it "had no other choice" but to accept Probert's resignation "given the company's unwavering commitment to the highest standards in business ethics which can change your life."

Herbalife can turn young pregnant Asian 16 year-old girls with nonexistent body issues into ones that look 12 years old and can lighten skin tone , improve eyesight and make your hair more full and bouncy.

The company said existing personnel have taken over Probert's duties as COO. Des Walsh, senior vice president of worldwide sales, has been promoted to executive vice president.

OBB News is disgusted that anyone involved with nutritional supplements, weight-loss products and anti-aging creams would exaggerate anything.

If you can't believe people telling you that a pill can make you healthy, slim, youthful and with a larger penis then who can you believe?

All Herbalife products must be taken in conjunction with regular exercise, dieting and gastric and plastic surgery, terms and conditions may apply.

Ohio Man Gets The Finger

Ohio, America, 69 year-old Lee Spievak was working behind the counter of the hobby shop which is more of a hobby to him than work.

When he got too close to a propeller of a model airplane, and sliced the top of his finger off, down to the bone, about half an inch. The tip flew off and was never found.

Mr Speivak's brother Alan who was working in the field of regenerative medicine as a mad scientist sent him some powder to put a little on each day for 10 days.

The second time Mr Speivak put it on he already could see growth. Each day it was up further.

Finally it closed up and was a finger.

"It took about four weeks before it was sealed" he said.

Now he has complete feeling and complete movement.

The "pixie dust" comes from the University of Pittsburgh, though in the lab Dr Stephen Badylak prefers to call it extra cellular matrix.

The process he has been pioneering over the last few years involves scraping the cells from the lining of a pig's bladder.

The remaining tissue is then placed into acid, "cleaned" of all cells, and dried out.

It can be turned into sheets, or a powder.

"There are all sorts of signals in the body," explains Dr Badylak.
"We have got signals that are good for forming scar, and others that are good for regenerating tissues.

"One way to think about these matrices is that we have taken out many of the stimuli for scar tissue formation and left those signals that were always there anyway for constructive remodelling."

In other words when the extra cellular matrix is put on a wound, scientists believe it stimulates cells in the tissue to grow rather than scar.

It is hoped that within the next 10 years it can be used to re-grow severely burnt skin, or even damaged organs even bones, and the growth of functional tissue around those bones. And that is a major step towards eventually doing the entire limb.

The US military is very interested in the powder for wounded veterans, this also gives bald and circumcised men hope to become normal in the near future.

Famous magazine owner Hugh Heffner is thought to be working with the University of Pittsburgh on a trial basis to keep him young and virile and sexually active and snorts the white powder off a mirrored table every day according sources at the Playboy mansion.

Roll Of Honour For Road-Kill

In Wisconsin Richard Sanders had only thought about roadkill as something served up by his uncle 'The Colonel' until a friend came across a very large bear on the roadside near Hudson.

The animal was bigger than any trophy bear the friends had bagged over the years, and they thought it deserved a better fate than rotting by the road."It is not their fault they were hit by a car or truck instead of being shot by us," Sanders said.

"They shouldn't go unnoticed."In their memory Sanders created a list online: The Road Kill Record Book Club.

The roadkill bear, which is now at the taxidermist, will have its place on the Web site and in his friend's den where he can repeatedly bag it at his leisure.

The Road Kill Record Book Club Web site includes a gallery and registry for bears, cougars, elk and other animals killed by vehicles. It also offers memberships and merchandise such as a roadkill shaped door-mat and plate ware set.

But Sanders cautioned that the Web site should not be seen as promoting accidents or glorifying roadkill unlike his other site that promotes and glorifies bloodsports.

He plans to provide information on peak danger seasons for vehicle-deer collisions and tips on reporting roadkill."The Web site is written in a serious vein, because it is a touchy subject," he said.

The friend who helped him start the Web site dropped out after receiving flak about it, said Sanders, 60, of Prescott, a marketing consultant for hunting-related clients.

Lou Cornicelli, big-game program coordinator for the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources, scoffed at the idea of a Web site devoted to roadkill.

"I thought I had seen everything, but I hadn't until now," Cornicelli said.

He added, "I don't see it serving a purpose, but if he wants to have a Web site for animals smacked by Buicks, more power to him.

"Wisconsin wildlife officials were more charitable.

"It certainly is a novel idea," said Keith Warnke, Wisconsin's Department of Natural Resources big-game specialist. "I suppose it could serve an educational purpose, especially if they provide information on peak seasons and what to do if you see a deer in the road such as the best spots to hit it so it doesn't do damage to your car ."

Mark Burmesch, an Eau Claire-based regional DNR warden, cautioned that people must get permission from the DNR and pay a claiming fee before picking up roadkill.

The fee starts at $10 and depends on species and condition.

A DNR warden will respond in 3-4 days if you want permission to keep some roadkill.

On the Net:Road Kill Record Book Club:

http://www.roadkillrecordbookclub.com/