Monday, August 11, 2008

Cows Get Hot Beef Injection

Brazilian police arrested a man under suspicion of having raped some 400 cows, which he later killed after sex.

Getulino Ferreira Paraizo, 53, was arrested after a cattleman from Aragoinania, in the heart of Brazil, caught him in the act of allegedly slaying three cows and a calf on his property.

In a statement to the police, Paraizo acknowledged that he was responsible for these crimes and explained that he was sexually abused at 13 by a horse, which led him to have intimate relations with mares and horses, and later with bovines.

Police chief Alvaro Cassio dos Santos said that the suspect manifested having tried consorting with a prostitute during his adolesence, but found it "udderly frustrating" .

The usual suspects for the crime were Satanists performing sacrifices as part of black magic rituals, just so cliched as Satanists are all just posers .

The 400 slain cattle were sold to McDonald's so don't be surprised if you are asked, "would you like therapy with that?"


just bob said...

What about sleeping with pigs? All you wake up with is a deep shame, ridicule from your buddies, and no bacon.

Anonymous said...

Kevin bacon gives good rasher.

angela said...

I find Bob's humiliation refreshing. It is an affirmation, and one that empowers all pigs !