Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Dust Me Off Scotty


Canadian actor James Doohan who played Scotty on Star Trek thus becoming the most famous fake Scotsman until me had one wish for when he died. He wanted his ashes shot into space to burn up upon re-entry.
He and 200 others including Mercury astronaut Gordon Cooper wanted their powdery remains to pollute the universe.

The first rocket crashed in the mountains of the White Sands Missile Range but the container was found and the ashes were returned to the families along with certificates of authenticity. Doohan and Cooper were not finished yet, you can't keep a good pile of dust down.

Space X launched the Falcon 1 with the ashes aboard and a minuscule satellite dubbed Trailblazer for the Pentagon's Operationally Responsive Space Office. Press one for an anal probe, press two for an implant or press three for static.

The Falcon 1 was destroyed before it reached orbit, this time Scotty didn't have time to loop himself into the transporter's buffer.

Citizens of Albuquerque New Mexico found their cars covered in a fine white dust and at first blamed the Sahara sands that occasionally blows dust their way. When they discovered the dust may be famous some put small containers of it up for sale on E-bay.

Elon Musk, SpaceX chairman and CEO said: " We are disappointed that our rockets tend to crash and that a total of three satellites were lost we hope this does not put investers off investing in our company as we have a manned space flight to the sun coming up soon. We will land the Icarus 1 on the sun during winter when its not so hot. We have room for 5 passengers so get your tickets while you can."

3 comments:

angela said...

"Press one for an anal probe,
press two for an implant or
press three for static."
------------------------------

This news item contains an error. Please check your sources it doesn't matter what you press you get the anal probe every time.
My arse hurts :(

E.T. said...

Sorry that was me.

having my cake said...

LMAO... Come on, with my history, you knew Id be seduced into reading the one with the Star Trek link. Poor Scotty :(