Italians No Longer Allowed To Be Offensive

An Italian Court of Appeal has issued a landmark ruling outlawing men from scratching their crotches in public.

The ruling says that blatant scratching or holding is "an act contrary to decorum and public decency" playing pocket pool is still allowed.

Superstitious Italian men often hold or touch their private parts for good luck when they see a hearse or to ward off bad luck like touching wood in Britain.

In fact the ancient Romans would hold onto their crotches when swearing an oath or giving a testimonial.

The court made the judgement after listening to the appeal of a 42-year-old man who had been fined 200 euros for gross indecency at a hearing in May last year.

His defence lawyer had argued that his client a mechanic had been merely adjusting himself in his overalls and nothing else. Mechanics and construction workers should be allowed package adjustment exceptions because of the manliness of their work environments.

The judges said in their ruling that: "The touching of genitalia in public is a sign of ill manners and must be considered against public decency.

"The rules of social etiquette require all of us to abstain from what might be considered offensive to public decorum."

The ruling added that touching or scratching below the belt risked causing "awkwardness, disgust , disapproval and jealousy in the average man who is about five and a half inches long ".

Picking out wedgies is allowed as is scratching hemorrhoids providing you can produce a doctors note verifying your condition.

The pinching of women's bottoms is of course still allowed as that is deemed as a compliment in Italy like belching at the dinner table is too.

The man's 200 euro fine was upheld and he was also ordered to pay 1000 euros in costs and for not keeping his hands in plain sight during the trial .