Tension builds Off The Straits of Hormuz

Five Iranian gunboats harassed three US navy warships at the weekend, radioing a threat to blow them up. The US navy cruiser, destroyer and frigate passed through the Strait of Hormuz on what is a major oil shipping route.

Pentagon officials insist the US ships were in international waters and for once innocently going about their business.

The Iranian craft came within 200 nautical metres and turned away literally at the very moment that US forces were preparing to open fire.

last March Iranian Revolutionary Guards captured 15 British sailors and held them for nearly two weeks. Forcing them to wear bad suits and make false statements and paraded them on television as some kind of trophies. Iran said the crew had strayed into Iranian waters, a claim which Britain and Google earth disputed.

The gun-boats of the crack Revolutionary Guards, the three huge US warships got lucky.

Just weeks before that, the Australians had a four hour stand off with the Iranians as they tried to grab one of their boarding parties that was searching a vessel, to quote one military source, "were having none of it".

The Australians knocked back a few cans of beer, yawned and aimed their machine guns at the approaching Iranians. They then warned them to back off, using what was said to be "highly colourful language" and we don't believe they meant Farisee.

The Iranians withdrew crying and shaking their fists , and the Australians were lifted off the ship by one of their own helicopters.

Britain's First Sea Lord, Admiral Sir Jonathon Band commented: "That's not fair comparing such incidents the bloody Yanks had three warships and we all know that Australians are tougher and better trained than the British. Besides the Fuzzies nabbed our fellows during a smoke break when they all had their I-pods on, somehow they knew we have a break at 11 am. MI5 are looking into a possible security breach. "

Old Knudsen our Iranian affairs correspondent said: " To understand the Iranian mentality and the mind-set of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards, take four large guinea pigs and half a pound of house flies, put them all into a blender with a dash of salt and blend until liquid, let it sit for 8 days then drink it down in one and there you have it."

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the president of Iran was available for comment as usual so we asked if we could speak to his boss the Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei instead but he was otherwise engaged.